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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Early dating dilemma

18 replies

LuLu345678 · 12/05/2025 15:04

Been seeing someone, we are exclusive and very into each other. However, after spending the night together they told me they thought they had a condition, which they have had and treated before.
this condition is contagious. I think it’s possible they didn’t realise it was contagious as they told me they thought they got it another way than skin to skin contact. It’s not an STI btw. I’m reallly annoyed they suspected they had it and slept with me anyway. They have been having symptoms for a couple of weeks it turns out it only know moved to treat it because I pulled them up on it being contagious. I’ve now got a rather bad itch and I’m dreading having to go to the doctor as it’s in an embarrassing area. It’s an easily treatable thing btw with antibiotics.
I don’t know where to go from here. I was falling for this person but actually feel quite violated and I’m pretty hurt that they didn’t show any consideration for me here. It’s totally treatable but still. Am I overeating for feeling this way?

OP posts:
ForRealCat · 12/05/2025 15:07

I’d leave them over this. They probably think now you have it that it won’t be a barrier between you now. No one who says they care about you would have done this.

Go to the doctor however embarrassing it is and get yourself checked out.

WakingUpToReality · 12/05/2025 15:14

Agree - how awful to tell you after and not before spending the night together. Trust would be gone for me.

S0j0urn4r · 12/05/2025 15:16

Taxi!

skinnyoptionsonly · 12/05/2025 15:17

That’s grim and would pretty much ruin the early days of trust and intimacy - not just because he gave you something (sounds like an STI tbh!) but because the lies and action only because you flagged it smacks of man child.

ditch before you become more infected invested

category12 · 12/05/2025 15:27

Yeah, I'd be pissed off and consider it a dumping offence.

One thing if they'd said "I think I've got a case of [condition], do you want to risk it?" but not to bother giving you the heads-up is totally off.

Next!

Wacqui · 12/05/2025 15:32

If it's scabies, I'd find that hard to get past.

MoominMai · 12/05/2025 15:42

How magnanimous of him for him remembering to mention it after getting his leg over 🙄. Next!

yeesh · 12/05/2025 15:47

What a prick. Bin him off, how could you trust him after that.

Chatonette · 12/05/2025 15:54

Run for the hills.

user1492757084 · 12/05/2025 15:59

Run, and do pop into an STI clinic ASAP.

MyKingdomForACat · 12/05/2025 16:13

Scabies?

Zezet · 12/05/2025 16:45

Leave and shame them.

HeatedBlanketAllYear · 12/05/2025 17:23

If they have no respect for you or your health, then run far and fast. Hope you get this treated without too much discomfort.

Hatty65 · 12/05/2025 17:28

I'm pretty sure I'd dump anyone who infected me with any kind of disease.

Unknowingly or not. It's a bit grim.

Crushed23 · 12/05/2025 17:30

MoominMai · 12/05/2025 15:42

How magnanimous of him for him remembering to mention it after getting his leg over 🙄. Next!

I’m guessing the offending partner is a woman hence the use of the word ‘they’.

In any case, this is a terrible thing for someone to do, OP, and would be a dumpable offence for me.

TwistedWonder · 12/05/2025 17:43

Gross. So getting a shag more important to him than being honest about passing on
an infection?

It would be the end for ne. He’s shown that getting his dick wet is all he’s concerned about

ruddygreattiger · 12/05/2025 20:35

Well they obviously don't give a shit about your health so the immediate response should be to dump. How utterly selfish.🤬

Gymbunny2025 · 12/05/2025 21:21

Without knowing what the condition is it’s really difficult to comment. Impetigo?! But then you’re worried it’s spread to your groin? And you would have seen spots! And what made them think they had it but not know? And why refer to someone as ‘them’

all very odd

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