Confused!!

[Justagirl87]

Morning all,

so some of you may have read my previous posts of me calling my husband a narcissist and doing nothing around the house or helping financially. Well me being me gave him yet another chance he is being ok. He has since got a job which is an improvement. We have been getting on better. However there is a parent at our daughter’s school who I went to school with and always fancied. He is showing great interest and wanting me to go for cups of tea as much as I would love to I just know it’s wrong. I can’t help thinking about this person constantly. My husband has cheated on me many times in first 2 years of our relationship but 2 wrongs don’t make a right and I know this. Will these feelings go away? I was talking to this guy just before I got with my husband and timing wasn’t right and I guess it’s still not now 😢

It’s possible you feel resentment, and nothing DH can do will make it better, and your relationship is essentially over.

Hi thanks for your reply. I think I’m trying so hard as I want nothing more than this family life but it’s so hard. He went to stay at his dads last week for 2 nights (we hadn’t fell out) and I didn’t even miss him which kind of shows me there is a problem

Listen OP “family life” can be just as rewarding with you and your DC without this useless excuse of a man in it.

The peace I found when I left my cheating narc 14 years ago was amazing. I have absolutely no regrets.

It seems you also enjoy the peace.

This “broken home” nonsense women use to not split from these men is silly…they already live in a broken home modelling bad relationship dynamics to the DC.

Often the splitting up is fixing it.

Your attraction to this other man is natural, you want to move on. But split with the asshole before you do anything about it and I’d advise some time single, it’s amazing.

Thanks so much for your reply!! I feel every word of what you said. Peace is myself and my kids. I wouldn’t jump into another relationship as I would like to embrace my life just me and my children. Just to have a little bit of freedom as a woman instead of a mum would be nice too xx

As nice as the possibility of a friendship or more with this new man sounds, don’t divorce your husband for this.

Divorce him because you are happier without him. If things are meant to be with this other man then they will be once you have separated.

But sounds like regardless you are deeply unhappy in your marriage and want out. That’s ok. You don’t need an excuse.

Thank you so much for your reply. Yes you are right in everything you say. I get strong and think I’m ready to go through it. Then he does things to make me feel like I’m making the wrong decision

I second wot everyone is saying, leave ur husband as he doesn’t treat u right, because he makes ur life more difficult, because u deserve peace.

Then if this man is single u r free to explore that. What is his status at the moment?

Thanks so much. Yes he is single and has been for quite few years concentrating on being a dad to his children. Thanks again xx

Your gut is screaming that your marriage is over.

Its probably not even about this man, its your inner voice telling you that you need to get away from your lying cheating scumbag husband and make a fresh start

As others have said, it’s actually worse to stay and keep your kids in an abusive home than to separate and let them see you’re a strong mum who has done the right thjng

I know I have done it before with my other 3 kids dad and I felt so relieved. Not sure why I’m finding it harder to find the courage this time around. I think it’s I’m trapped as we share a house together and he won’t just leave x