Confused about self, relationship and behaviour

[Slavetotheriver]

My partner has a long history of letting me down, I forgive because I often doubt myself and sometimes I don’t know if I’m being ott or should I overlook some things because even though he’s somewhat dishonest and sometimes unreliable he’s never directly ‘mean’, doesn’t cheat etc

recently he upset me by repeatedly not hearing when I said I was worried about an upcoming family anniversary and about how I would handle said event, he kept ‘not hearing’ me so would interrupt or change subject and I ended up feeling angry, hurt and slighted.
this is a pattern that I keep forgiving because I think I’m over sensitive and men don’t care about things like this etc.

I went to the event and I was angry with him.
im a non drinker because of violence in my childhood but I felt upset and out of my comfort zone so I got drunk very quickly.
Some of us went to a club after.

I ended up talking to someone I don’t know who was fine conversation and it kept me distracted from the other stuff and I thought we were just chatting about a common interest.

he leaned in and kissed me, I had already said I’m in a relationship and I didn’t respond/ kiss back just moved and reiterated my relationship status and that men and women can talk and share interests without it being sexual.
I left not long after .

partner and I were still frosty the next day because I was still upset and he hadn’t made any effort to ask about the event etc but we kind of reconciled that evening.

still didn’t ask me anything so I thought I better tell him about this man because I don’t want it to come out later and he say I never told him (when similar has happened with him he would only tell me by accident months later or say it wasn’t relevant etc)

so I said a man tried to kiss me, I didn’t say the kiss actually connected, but he didn’t ask and didn’t seem particularly interested although much later when I mentioned my hangover he asked how much I had drunk but nothing else

we definitely didn’t miss, it wasn’t reciprocated by me at all but I am in knots now feeling terrible guilt and anxiety.
it wasn’t a consensual kiss but I had been chatting a lot with him and perhaps I should’ve not been as friendly?
I am chatty and friendly especially about that subject and I think the man was just trying his luck

i am genuinely feeling bad though, did I cheat?
did I ask for it / invite it by being too friendly ?
should i go back to dp and tell the clearer story or just leave it now?
I have palpitations just thinking about it and i just want to share it here to try to understand it, if anyone can relate or offer advice

Should also add he’s not just a horrible dp, I have painted a picture to give background to the specific scenario but he is great on other levels such as practical and with the kids up to a point and works hard but when it comes to emotional stuff or his own needs he is very much about himself so that’s often where the dishonesty comes in , if he wants to do something or doesn’t want what he thinks might be an awkward conversation he just lies or withholds information / lies by omission so it often comes out later or is a blatant lie and he will maybe say it wasn’t important or he forgot,
it’s really upsetting and makes me feel vulnerable and unsafe as well as not acknowledging or diminishing my feelings when I am worried or anxious etc
i have a neurological condition which makes human relating very hard for me. He’s one of the few people I’ve always got on with easily which is partly why I think I stay

He’s a liar and you cannot trust him.

You have done nothing wrong. Someone tried to kiss you and you rejected them by saying no and you were in a relationship. You also told you partner what happened. You’re probably riddled with anxiety because you got drunk when you don’t normally drink. Hangover anxiety is a real thing. It will pass.

All will become clear and of much less import in a day or two.
Your dp sounds rather dismissive. I'd call him out.

Thanks so much, I do have a lot going on at the moment and I think part of this is overwhelm as well , I think also because I call dp out on so many things now this has happened I am starting to think that it must be more of a big deal because I’ve made a big deal of things in the past but that’s pretty much always been because of omissions, lies and withholding of information
I am also hung up on the definition ‘tried to kiss’ because he actually made contact no matter how brief
it is reassuring reading here though thank you

Thank you, I have, many times, he has said he will try harder..,
I reminded him of something important happening this week and he said he knows and is making a point of letting me know he hasn’t forgotten and is thinking of me etc ….