Feeling used and worthless

[shybee223]

hi all, I was in a long term relationship for 15 years and recently met a man after being seperzted 2 years, went on a few dates have slept with him twice now but as of recent I feel if I don’t call/message he won’t 😫 if I called he would answer but he’s just not showing much interest recently I really like him and am feeling quite low right now about it all.when we are together he makes me feel so special and forever giving me compliments but once we are apart it’s like I don’t Evan exsist I saw him on Thursday we slept together and the next day he didn’t message or call all day I then messaged him on Friday he said he been busy at work but to not Evan send a message i can’t understand it, I haven’t heard from him today just thinking to message but don’t want to look desperate ? Or maybe it’s best I just don’t contact him again and leave things but I’m finding it so hard now as I really like him 😫

Leave it.

Have some dignity and leave it.

Just leave it. He’s not interested in anything more than a convenient shag.

Chalk it down to experience and move on

Don't fly over an ocean for someone who won't jump a puddle for you.
If he's not returning any effort, not even a message, then he's really not worth it.
You do not deserve to just be a convenient shag when he's got nothing/no one else to do.

He’s had what he wanted and now he’s moving on.

I expect he’ll get on touch again sometime when his current supply runs out, for a shag.

Pull your socks up and bin him. You’re coming over as desperate.

If he was interested he’d be in contact with you. He’s not. You’re offering sex on a plate so of course he’s going to be up for that. But nothing more.
It’s time to end it and block him so you’re not tempted back.

@shybee223 unfortunately have to agree with everyone that you appear to be no more than a convenient sex buddy. Please don’t chase him as I’m not sure how good that will be for your mental health. You say you really like him but surely you can see that in the cold light of the ‘next day’ after non stop compliments prior to him getting his leg over, he actually isn’t very nice at all.

He’s a dickhead. He’s charmed the pants off you with his lavish compliments and now he’s got a shag, he’s not bothered. You’re not special to him. He just told you what you wanted to hear. He’s not a nice guy he’s a player and not the type you want to have in your life. Block him everywhere and delete his number and every message etc. You don’t really like him, you barely know him. You like the attention he gives you and that he made you feel special but none of that is real.

If a man actually likes you and is interested in more than just sex, he will prioritise contacting you and making arrangements to meet up with you. He will take you on dates. He will want to spend time with you. He will make an effort. This guy is showing you who he really is. He’s love bombed you to get what he wanted and now he’s got it, he’s off. He might even be married or partnered up and cheated with you for all you know. Bin.

Hi all so I didn’t reach out and he’s called me saying he feels like I’m still not over my ex husband and that he doesn’t like feeling like a second option🤦🏽‍♀️ I have mentioned ex a few times but didn’t realise it was bothering him or maybe he’s using this as a excuse ?

Also to make it very clear I am over my ex I have mentioned him before only when on certain topics that I could relate too. Not sure if this is a excuse or he’s being genuine but he seems like it bothered him as he knows I still have to see ex becouse of the kids.

In future only mention your ex if necessary because of the kids. And then keep it to a minimum, “I need to go and pick the kids up” rather than “I need to go round to my ex’s to pick up the kids”.

On stuff you can relate to, just don’t mention it “I know cricket can take all day my ex used to play.” …yeah just don’t. You don’t need to prove you can relate if it involves speaking about ex’s

Other than that I agree with others, he wasn’t that into you. He might come back and give it another chance, but that will just be because he hasn’t got someone else available.

Stop chasing a man who doesn't act interested.

And stop talking about your ex in the early stages of dating. It's a big red flag you're still emotionally invested in that relationship.

It’s an excuse as he’s not interested now he’s had sex but by talking about your ex you’ve given this man easy cop out.

What did you say about seeing each other again when you last saw him?
I’m not a constant messenger so wouldn’t bother me. Some people don’t see the point in chit chat.

I hope you at least enjoyed his company and had some good times and enjoyed the sex. Unfortunately a lot of them just like the chase.

Sounds like he’s not on the same page as you though regarding what you want in the form of commitment so just chalk it up to experience if what he’s offering isn’t enough for you.