Page 2 | I’m so glad I’m over my ex….this has made me giggle….

Original poster

Alina783 · 12/05/2025 18:07

Thendeliver · 12/05/2025 15:44

The minute my date had told me that he had two children with two different women already… he wouldn’t have seen me for dust

That’s fair….we’re not all the same.

His 2 oldest children are 8 years apart. At that point he was on good terms with them both. I’m actually very good friends with one of them.

Made a mistake in falling for the charm but I don’t regret it for a second.

OP posts:

AlphabettiTouretti · 12/05/2025 18:13

Hope he's got it in a smaller font this time, or he's going to run out of space soon...

SmugglersHaunt · 12/05/2025 18:34

He’ll run out of space before too long, then he’ll just have to tattoo ‘twat’ on his forehead

Iceboy80 · 12/05/2025 18:59

I'd say you're both as bad as each other, you were number 3 and chose to be!

cardboardvillage · 12/05/2025 19:06

You can’t really laugh. You’re no 3!!!

Original poster

Alina783 · 12/05/2025 19:26

Iceboy80 · 12/05/2025 18:59

I'd say you're both as bad as each other, you were number 3 and chose to be!

Mmmm no not really.

I was (past tense) and extremely vulnerable and naive woman who grew up to feel the only way to be loved was to please and put the other person above myself constantly to the point where I was absolutely mentally exhausted. That’s sad - not bad.

OP posts:

ballroomblue · 12/05/2025 19:28

Maybe the ink affects his brain. Or other body parts.

mumhas1syllable · 12/05/2025 20:03

Alina783 · 11/05/2025 19:26

Well if you read the above - I didn’t know about the first tattoo 🤷🏻‍♀️

He is awful but that’s fine. I spent 3 years in therapy during and after my marriage. I needed to go through it as my own chidhood was shit. Absolutely no love, praise or affection from my parents leading me to be a complete people pleaser.

He was attractive to me for that reason and vice versa.

I LOVE who I am now and my life now. And my child is a huge bonus. I can handle my ex.

Im proud that I can laugh about it now - it’s shows a huge amount of growth. It was something I never ever thought I’d be able to get over for a long time.

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This!
how amazing OP ❤️ I flipping love a glow up story and where a person heals and grows xx

Original poster

Alina783 · 12/05/2025 20:20

mumhas1syllable · 12/05/2025 20:03

This!
how amazing OP ❤️ I flipping love a glow up story and where a person heals and grows xx

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Thank you ❤️

I honestly don’t even recognise myself as the person I was anymore. I kept a video diary for a good 2 years and it’s just crazy to watch back.

Life is great now, my son is happy, I’ve got a job that I love. Lost a lot of weight and make much more of an effort now with my appearance. I’m single by choice and don’t feel the need to find someone - not sure if I could ever live with anyone again.

It was tough but a journey I needed to go through - if it wasn’t with my ex then it would have 100% been someone else. I really thought I could ‘fix’ him and that was my role to do. Basically how my mum was with my dad.

I’d run a mile if I met him now.

OP posts:

SirRaymondClench · 12/05/2025 20:30

Alina783 · 11/05/2025 18:58

I saw my ex today when he dropped our child off. He has 4 children to 4 different women, I’m number 3 🙋🏻‍♀️

Hes always been covered in tattoos and used to have my name tattooed on him (along with the previous exs which he had covered)

It’s been a warm day today so he tuned up in a t-shirt.
i wasn’t really looking but i did notice by name
had been covered up. I also noticed he has the name of his new girlfriend tattooed on him. That’s 4 different women’s names he’s had on him, each one covered and then gets the new woman somewhere else on his body 🙄😂

Theres really no point in this post, I’m not asking anything. It just sort of gives me a sense of confirmation that he will never ever change. He’s mid 40’s now.

You are free so rejoice! 😁❤️

forgetfulpigeon · 12/05/2025 20:32

I’m going to be honest, and I’m a bit embarrassed, but my first thought was similar to some of the not so pleasant comments from some of the PPs (about choosing him in the first place). However, after having read your responses OP, you have made me have a word with myself. You sound amazing and so considered. Well done to you on getting to where you are now and thank you for making me change my pattern of thought. I’m sorry to hear you had some difficult times in your life but so pleased you turned it around. You have reminded me to think with kindness and an open mind.

blubbyblub · 12/05/2025 20:58

TheCurious0range · 11/05/2025 19:20

You laugh, but you had a child with him when he already had two with two other women and had already had their names tattooed before yours. He sounds awful, but your choices aren't to be gloated about.

well ain’t you nice. Someone comes in to say how glad they are they are no longer the naive person they once were and your response is to get a dig in

maybe you should ask yourself why this is your reaction

Original poster

Alina783 · 12/05/2025 21:37

Thank you for your honesty and I’m glad you’ve read it in the way it is meant to be read.

Thankfully my dad has also realised the errors of his ways as I was growing up which has helped me massively. He’s now nothing but supportive in the right way.

Everyone is always going to be judgemental but you never really know what someone has gone through. My ex also had an extremely traumatic childhood - absolutely horrendous. He never stood a chance at growing into an adult with a healthy mindset. I’ll always have a lot of empathy for him due to this but unfortunately he isn’t able to take accountability for any of his actions. His life won’t change.

As I say, if it wasn’t him then it would have been someone else similar to him. Men who were emotionally stable weren’t attractive to me as I had no idea how to be in a relationship where I wasn’t ‘needed’. I was very co-dependent. My ex being the taker and myself the giver - a narcissist’s dream partner.

Therapy along with some DV courses I did 100% saved me.

OP posts:

IainTorontoNSW · 13/05/2025 03:33

You're not too far from the succession of women that Trump links himself to.

One of my late dad's colleagues had five marriages ... in his 20s he married the office secretary that his dad appointed to be his personal assistant. She became a stay-at-home mum and a new personal assistant was found.

Within three years the new PA was his new mistress and not long after he divorced Wife 1 and married the second PA.

My dad remarked to my mum ... Bryan treats his PAs like he's constantly interviewing for a new wife as he quickly finds his wives/marriages/children 'humdrum'/boring.

Bryan is now approaching 60 and Wife 5 is only 34. He treats women PAs as though he's updating to a new model car.

One of life's truly hollow people. I wonder if I should phone Bryan and suggest he gets tattoos like your ex ... as a sort of permanent record before his dementia sets it.

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 13/05/2025 09:01

TheCurious0range · 11/05/2025 19:20

You laugh, but you had a child with him when he already had two with two other women and had already had their names tattooed before yours. He sounds awful, but your choices aren't to be gloated about.

Bit harsh

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 13/05/2025 09:08

Iceboy80 · 12/05/2025 18:59

I'd say you're both as bad as each other, you were number 3 and chose to be!

OP is nothing like the ex of you RTFT.

She's an amazing woman who has done so well after coming out of a bad marriage and then people like you and @TheCurious0range come along and have to throw in a shit bit.

I was taught as a child, "if you have nothing pleasant to say then don't say it at all".

You two might want to learn that.

justmeandmyselfandi · 13/05/2025 09:18

TheCurious0range · 11/05/2025 19:20

You laugh, but you had a child with him when he already had two with two other women and had already had their names tattooed before yours. He sounds awful, but your choices aren't to be gloated about.

Feeling sorry for number 5

MightAsWellBeGretel · 13/05/2025 09:21

I wouldn't be too smug, you were number 3!

Still, good you're not pining for him and hopefully won't be tempted by such a prince again.

whynotmereally · 13/05/2025 09:21

I had a similar experience with exh, I was number 1 andnow he’s on humber 4 . My DDs have had several step brothers and sisters and 3 half siblings. He also got my name tattooed on his self and 2 of the other three that followed.

When we first split up he had a new gf in weeks and had introduced kids. I stayed single for 3 years and he use to pity me 😂 Now he lives in a rough area with wife number 4 who he has split with twice in the past ten years, his 3 kids from previous wives barely see him whereas I’m happily married to the man I met three years after we split, dh is very close to my girls and has been a brilliant role model.

Damnblister · 13/05/2025 10:06

Alina783 · 12/05/2025 21:37

Thank you for your honesty and I’m glad you’ve read it in the way it is meant to be read.

Thankfully my dad has also realised the errors of his ways as I was growing up which has helped me massively. He’s now nothing but supportive in the right way.

Everyone is always going to be judgemental but you never really know what someone has gone through. My ex also had an extremely traumatic childhood - absolutely horrendous. He never stood a chance at growing into an adult with a healthy mindset. I’ll always have a lot of empathy for him due to this but unfortunately he isn’t able to take accountability for any of his actions. His life won’t change.

As I say, if it wasn’t him then it would have been someone else similar to him. Men who were emotionally stable weren’t attractive to me as I had no idea how to be in a relationship where I wasn’t ‘needed’. I was very co-dependent. My ex being the taker and myself the giver - a narcissist’s dream partner.

Therapy along with some DV courses I did 100% saved me.

You did DV courses? Was he physically violent to you op?

Original poster

Alina783 · 13/05/2025 10:55

Damnblister · 13/05/2025 10:06

You did DV courses? Was he physically violent to you op?

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No but he had been to number 1. She had a restraining order against him when they separated. Never knew that until after I left him.

He wasn’t physical but some of what happened during our marriage was still classed as DV according to the police. They also said his behaviour at the end showed it was headed that way.

I did the freedom course and then another one called ‘moving on from domestic abuse’.

OP posts:

Damnblister · 13/05/2025 10:57

Alina783 · 13/05/2025 10:55

No but he had been to number 1. She had a restraining order against him when they separated. Never knew that until after I left him.

He wasn’t physical but some of what happened during our marriage was still classed as DV according to the police. They also said his behaviour at the end showed it was headed that way.

I did the freedom course and then another one called ‘moving on from domestic abuse’.

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I know you have your son, which you’d never change

but I think it is ok to say that you do regret the relationship and to still care about someone like this? Really?

how do you feel when you leave his son in his care?

Compresschill · 13/05/2025 15:22

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Moier · 13/05/2025 15:49

This could be my ex husband.
Although we are in our 60s..l was number 2 with my name tattooed.
His 1st was covered.
He's now onto wife number 5 ( apparently another name tatoo).. plus every step child he took on.
He has our daughter tattooed too.. she'd 32 now and he hasn't seen her scince she turned 16.
We don't even know where he is.
If a tattoo is suppose to show how much a man loves you. God help us lol.