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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I sacrifice quality time?

6 replies

Cos100 · 11/05/2025 11:29

Name change for this one.

My partner spends quite a bit of time on his hobbies (around 4 - 5 hours during the week and sometimes 4 - 5 hours at the weekend). If I were to book something, he would obviously prioritise this over his hobbies but otherwise it's pretty set in stone throughout the week. The dilemma I face is we have a young DD and I get a bit overwhelmed sometimes. He suggests that I also make time for hobbies but in doing so I would be sacrificing family time together. Like for instance, there could be one Saturday or Sunday where he's out for a few hours doing his hobby but the following day he hasn't got any plans. He would happily take DD out somewhere for a few hours so I get equal alone time/hobby time but of course I sacrifice our time together. At the moment I'm.not sure what to do. I'm mostly resentful of the fact he gets so much time to himself but then I'm.not taking up the offer to do the same am I? Also I should add his hobby takes up more time during the summer.. during the winter he's often free during the weekends except for when he occasionally goes out with friends.

Any advice welcome 🙏

OP posts:
MagpiePi · 11/05/2025 11:34

His hobby is cycling, isn’t it?

S0j0urn4r · 11/05/2025 11:58

I think you could give yourself a few hours off. It's not really quality time together if you're sat feeling resentful.

Enko · 11/05/2025 11:59

Speak together and plan it out so you get time he gets time and you all get quality time together.

Cos100 · 11/05/2025 13:19

MagpiePi · 11/05/2025 11:34

His hobby is cycling, isn’t it?

It's not actually but I wasn't sure if I should say in case I'm outing myself 😂 let's say it's a racket sport!

OP posts:
Cos100 · 11/05/2025 13:21

Enko · 11/05/2025 11:59

Speak together and plan it out so you get time he gets time and you all get quality time together.

That's what's tricky. We work opposite work schedules (currently) so we don't have a huge amount of time together. We usually are together 2 mid week evenings and Saturday evening which I think is okay tbh.

OP posts:
Cos100 · 11/05/2025 13:22

S0j0urn4r · 11/05/2025 11:58

I think you could give yourself a few hours off. It's not really quality time together if you're sat feeling resentful.

Yeah you are right. I think I was feeling guilty about it because I feel we should have quality time together as a family but it shouldn't come at the expense of me sacrificing my own "me" time. It's not like it's all year round either and we almost always have a few hours together at the weekend as a family anyway. Just need to make the most of the time we do have together and try not to feel bad about it

OP posts:
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