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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating vehicle mad man

8 replies

Sunshine386 · 11/05/2025 11:16

I've been dating a man for about 2 and a half months. He's a real petrolhead and owns several vehicles - cars and bikes. At the moment he's quite busy doing work on them but he's selling some of them but he would still have a few vehicles. Like me he's said he's looking for something long term. We're both late thirties, no kids.

I do want someone who wants to live a fairly normal life though, having a relationship and eventually moving in. I know it's early days but for example if you end up trying to move in with someone with lots of vehicles it could be an issue for practical reasons. He currently has a storage place to store some of them. I also wonder if I am overthinking and if its best to wait to see how things go once he has sold some of the vehicles and they become less of a focus. He definitely knows the vehicle obsession had got out of hand because that's why he's trying to sell some of them.

OP posts:
everywhichway · 11/05/2025 11:21

I think you'll be waiting a very long time if you're expecting his obsession to wane!

WillTheSHTFsoon · 11/05/2025 11:22

What's the issue exactly? Are you worried he'll spend all his free time working on the vehicles rather than with you? Are you worried about cost/space...etc?

He's got a hobby, you can either support it or you can't.

MiloMinderbinder925 · 11/05/2025 13:28

These types of relationships can work if you're equally as enthused. He'll spend all his money and free time on cars and his idea of a relationship is having a housekeeper he has sex with.

spiderlight · 11/05/2025 13:33

Someone will be having similar thoughts about my DS in a few years' time! He has lived and breathed cars since he was a baby, said 'car' long before 'mama' or 'dada', and I can't see him ever changing! He's 18 now and his main ambition in life is to live in a house with a big flat driveway so he can get under cars on it 😆

Lurkingandlearning · 11/05/2025 13:49

If he were fixing up cars and selling them on I would understand that but to have several cars that all need work seems like he doesn’t finish a project before starting a new one. That can be very annoying to live with.

Does he go on holidays, weekends away, nights out I.e. any leisure activities that cost money? Because if his main focus in his spare time is working on cars and bikes to the expense of everything else, I would leave him to it and find someone who has broader interests

ReacherOMGyes · 11/05/2025 13:51

It's his hobby, why should it become less of a focus to please someone else?

It can be an expensive hobby, I'm motorcycle mad and my ex is car and motorcycle mad. It cost us a fortune over the years (buying, maintenance, storage, having to buy a house with a garage) but we didn't have kids

A man and his hobbies are difficult ones to part

TomatoSandwiches · 11/05/2025 14:04

MiloMinderbinder925 · 11/05/2025 13:28

These types of relationships can work if you're equally as enthused. He'll spend all his money and free time on cars and his idea of a relationship is having a housekeeper he has sex with.

This, I've known many and they're all the same, give me the right ick, sorry, they don't get any better and usually worse as they age and are money pits, you'll be subbing him forever.

NPET · 11/05/2025 14:15

A difficult one. I'm into cars and my bff next door definitely is. But we would never let it take over our lives. Tbh I think my main concern would be ensuring that he doesn't ever criticise my or my friends' driving!

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