Sorry this has got long but didn't want to drip feed.
I have a good friend of approx 9 years. We are not local to each other so usually meet up every 6 weeks and go away on mini breaks a couple of times a year.
In between we keep in touch via text.
Sometimes she will take 3-4 weeks to reply, usually after I've texted her again to see how she is.
She's not particularly busy. She doesn't work, doesn't have children, has elderly parents she sees once a week. She spends most of her time on her hobbies.
Last October I had a brain injury.
I have been ill ever since and still recovering with ongoing issues and we've not been able to meet up.
The last time we messaged was January for the new year. I was last to reply (twice) where I was still fairly ill, and she hasn't texted since!
I am easy going and don't expect much but I have felt hurt that she has not texted since Jan 5th.
My fil died in March. I went to text her but stopped myself as I couldn't bear it if she took weeks to reply.
That's when I realised I should be able to expect more from a dear friend, and saw how one sided the friendship had become. With me being ill the friendship had fizzled.
Yesterday I got a text from her to say her mother had died after being ill since March. The text wasn't "I thought you should know", but more like only weeks had passed since we last texted.
I will reply with my sympathies but I don't feel like continuing the friendship now after such a long ghosting. I had already drawn a line under it when I hadn't heard from her in March, let alone a few more months down the line.
What do pp think?