Feeling sad after being blocked

[fixingmylife]

Of course it's difficult to be absolutely certain but I think I have been blocked on WhatsApp by a friend I have been close with for over 10 years.

I do understand though because I created a kind of hiatus after leaving a long time between her sending me a message with a question mark and not responding. I was going through a low time and struggling to keep up with messages and spending time with my phone turned off and I just let to much time pass by.

I but the bullet and sent an apologetic and heartfelt message to her saying no pressure but would love to reconnect. Since then I noticed that she no longer has a profile picture showing and the message hasn't moved to a double tick.

I'm sad but at least I now have some clarity and i need to move on and respect that the friendship is likely over.

You need to find another way to contact your friend to send your message. If your friend thought you weren’t responding to them, maybe they blocked you as a way to protect themselves— they wouldn’t necessarily expect the reason to be your mental health.
Go easy on yourself and your friend - as you have highlighted, you never truly know what is going on in other people’s lives.

I'm sorry you had such a tough time but it's a shame you couldn't be honest with your friend. Do you find it hard to let people know things are bad? Do you think your friend would have wanted to support you? I do understand as I like to retreat within myself until I've worked on my feelings.

However, I've learned this myself that communication is important, especially if you want to keep friends. I've learned to just let people know with a quick message (only to those who message me regularly, not everyone as I know friends have different communication styles) that I might be out of touch for a bit whilst I sort my head out.

I think the fact you left her on read, on a question mark, means she probably thought you weren't interested anymore. I mean tbh I probably would have done too.

Being ND meant that in the past, I've maybe hung onto a friendship for longer than I should if I didn't realise they were slow fading so to me that would mean sorry I'm not interested.

If you think she'd reply, maybe text her instead explain what happened and that if she'd like to continue the friendship, in future you'll tell her when you're feeling bad maybe? I suppose people aren't mind readers.

Changed her number?

Thanks for your replies.
I do find it difficult communicating my feelings, making plans, letting people know that I struggle to respond to messages when I'm feeling low. I find that I just want to turn the phone off and pretend that the messages are not there. It's easy to see in hindsight that this must be hard for the other friend and for clarity I need to let them know that I'm finding things hard and to understand the lack of message. In this period of "low" and wanting to ignore people, I haven't been able to make that reasonable decision to do this, so I need to make sure a warn people in advance. My friend is aware that I struggle though, and often we go for long periods when either of us do not make any contact at all, and more often than not it is me that makes the first move. I think this sometimes creates an uncertainness in our relationship, which it would be good to address this with her. But it seems that she has blocked me, so I think I also need to respect that she has decided for now, at least she does not want to be in contact.

It’s very hurtful to be ignored. I have had friends who pick me up and put me down according to how they are feeling and frankly it feels selfish. I think you need to be aware that if you are very inconsistent as a friend with your communications and responses then your friends won’t always be waiting patiently for you.

I blocked a friend a few months ago for similar reasons. The main reason was to protect my own feelings and move on, have closure. I was getting sick of not knowing if she was my friend or not or wondering what I'd done to upset her. It was confusing and hurtful and actually made me quite angry that she was using me in this way. Expecting me to always be there when she needed a mate, but not worthy of replying to me or even saying hello to me in person. Then she was upset when I told her why I'd blocked her but she just didn't understand and won't accept she's in the wrong. The way I see it is she thinks I should prioritise her crap over my own self respect. I won't ever go back to being friends even if she now apologises because I won't be used like that anymore. Friendship is a two way street, it doesn't come unconditionally.

I understand your position. I do feel bad about it. However, I also feel hurt that she blocked me without offering me an explanation. I guess it depends when she blocked me. I understand if she blocked me after I ignored her last message, but I am more hurt if she blocked me after I sent her my heartfelt apology and explanation. I will never know, and I guess she knows where I am.

That was my thought. Or she's come off the app. I wouldn't assume blocking and leave it at that. Couldn't you send her a letter/card? Real life comms mean more than a phone msg, no matter how heartfelt, esp after a long hiatus.

@fixingmylife
she doesn’t owe you an explanation though

youve said yourself it’s not the first time you’ve ignored her and possibly the reason it’s always you that makes the first move is because she doesn’t know when or if your ever going to reply so she’s protecting herself

I totally get that feeling and I did block a friend for it as it went on and on and I never knew where I stood.

we did eventually bump into each other one day and I explained I get that’s how she deals with things but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt the other persons feelings not knowing where they are at times.

sadly some people and I’m not saying you,but some people who act that way don’t really give consideration to the other persons feelings because they are too wrapped up in their own.

maybe you could find another way to communicate with your friend and use this as a step forward in learning how to communicate better and not let it drift.

it would be a shame to lose a friend however if she definitely doesn’t want contact anymore you need to respect and understand her reasons.

ita always worth one last try op

Maybe she feels she doesn't need to tell you why and that you would understand without explanation. You do know why, after all. If the friendship is important to you then you have to make that clear to her. Go to her house or write her a letter, make some effort.

I have never ignored her in the past and it has more often than not me who has made the first move. It's been hard to navigate the boundaries with this person without feeling like I am treading on eggshells. I wont bump into her as she lives many miles away.

Well then maybe you're best leaving it and accepting the end of the friendship.