Please help me express my feelings to DH

[Helpwithfeelings]

I’m struggling a lot with expressing my needs and feelings. It leaves me feeling resentful and as though no one really cares about me. In my marriage in particular I’m feeling as though DH makes no effort to care about my feelings. I had an abusive childhood and have long term anxiety and depression, feelings are a very difficult topic for me. I’m in therapy for this and the other day the therapist told me that I tend to downplay feelings a lot, so I’m not surprised no one has a clue. We agreed that I will try and put more emphasis on it, but I don’t know how, I get totally numb when I face strong feelings and almost normalize being lonely with them.
my question is 1) how do you know DP cares about your feelings 2) how do you express your feelings to your DP?
thanks in advance

Hope my experience helps a bit. Whilst very much not the same as your experience, I had a long term relationship where feelings were not discussed (but I did with my friends). With my DH I tend to say that I have an emotion I am struggling with. I know he cares because he asks me about it and asks me questions and helps me navigate. He also wants to know what he can do to help or if he’s contributed to me feeling that way.
Have you talked to your DH about what you want to be different and how he could help? That could be a good starting point.
You deserve to be heard and your feelings listened to and acknowledged x

Your therapist should be able to help you articulate your feelings. Perhaps even doing role plays during the session with the therapist being your husband. At least it would help as a starting point for the conversation.

Maybe try writing it down or underlining passages in some self-care, self-help books that have hit home with you?

I journalise my feelings and emotions every day and I try to describe exactly how I felt. I then try very hard to look for why I felt like that. There is usually a trigger - something that sparks a bad memory or a fleeting deja vu moment.
I have recently taken to making time for sitting amongst nature - finding somewhere calm and peaceful, away from other people and mobile phones - listening to the natural sounds around me and shutting out the distractions of everyday life.
I did think it was all mumbo jumbo at first and felt quite self conscious sitting in fields - but it helps tremendously, is great for relaxation and really helps to unclog your mind.

Your DH cares about you if he shows interest in helping you to articulate and voice your feelings, if he listens to you, respects your difficulties - he may not understand them all but if he puts the time in to showing you that he is there for you, then he cares.