Critical Father

[noonein]

Very close with my father but there’s a couple of things bothering me there’s a certain trip I enjoy and whenever I book it he goes on about how he hates this area, the government, the food, he wouldn’t go there if he was paid and so on. I would never dream of criticising some of the places or things he chose to do as I feel it’s hurtful and nasty when someone has already decided to go there and is looking forward to it. I felt recently that I don’t want to tell him stuff anymore just keep things superficially nice as he won’t be happy for me anyway.

Also whenever I see him because my weight fluctuates he goes on about it.
You lost the weight before why have you let yourself get like this again so I come away from there with a really disappointing feeling of not having your father interested in where you are going and a low sense of self worth re my weight.
In so many ways we get on very well but I feel he almost hurts my feelings on purpose. He is a good man but very opinionated and as I’ve got older I’ve noticed how negative he is.

He has been great in so many ways but when I look back the only trip he showed an interest in was when I went to a country he has been to and likes it.
I have been to many places and I can’t remember him asking me about any of them or let’s see the photos. He just might say did you have a nice holiday but not much.
Just know I am pleased for my son if he is enjoying himself but my father seems almost more helpful when things going wrong.
Many years ago my partner and I almost split up my partners decision and my father does not like him anymore but pretending when he sees him to be all friendly but makes backstabbing comments to me so I wish I had never told my father. I was in a very dark place and needed to talk to someone back then as my partner was leaving after 30 yrs of being in a relationship. We have remained together but it changed me inside. No one knows how bad I feel sometimes and the two people I want to confide in I can’t as one of them is my oh my best friend ironically and other one my father who was fantastic at supporting me then but now I regret so much telling him. He never brings it up but makes comments about people who do this sort of thing that they are scum etc so I know what he really thinks of my partner. I feel so alone even though on the surface I look like I am in a very close family the two people who should have had my back are the two people who have hurt me the most in my life.

Is there any reason why you tell him everything knowing his reaction? If I knew he'd respond negatively to something I wouldn't tell him.

Ask him to stop commenting on your weight as you find it hurtful. You're very close so I'm sure he'll take your feelings on board.

OP tbh I think you need to remember he is your dad, not your friend. Dont you have anyone else you could talk to? Even a counsellor?

My dad can be like this, I think it's bitterness and jealousy on his part. Some people need to feel a bit superior and they do that by bringing other people down.

It's also only natural for your dad to not like your husband after what's happened and if your dad can see how this affected you.