What's working for you in your relationships?

[tecbrowidow]

So I've posted a few things which aren't working for me in my relationship recently and I'm starting to lose sight of what I'd like in my life so I'm looking for some inspiration. What does work for you all in your relationships? How do you and your partner show you love each other? What does your partner do which makes you feel cherished?

I think it’s different things for different couples. For me, my ex partner let me down on the big things. When a parent died. Whenever I was ill. When I was ill in hospital last year, he left me to go abroad. I would have felt loved and cared for and cherished if he’d supported me during those difficult times. And he didn’t.
He complained that I didn’t tell him I loved him enough. But love is an action for me so I tried to show it in many different thoughtful ways for him (which he has now conveniently forgotten).

Well I can't define it but it has been working for 30 years we just get each other but are 2 mature adults who knows each other good and bad points but we work together on life and help each other when it is needed, can't say we take life too seriously but grown up enough that we get all the stuff done

we dont keep track and dont do grand gestures. We just appreciate each other and moan about the bad points in a lighthearted way, but really every relationship is different so what works for one couple would not work for everyone so no way say you shouldn't be asking! at all but dont see how it benefits you to do so really

My DH is all about actions not spoken words. He is a solid rock and works so hard for our family life. He writes beautiful things on birthday cards for me and our DC. He would lie in front of a train or face a burning building for us. He says we are his world. He is stingy for himself but is very generous with us.

I am a bit crap in return. I’m fat, not attractive and I’m a bit lazy. I love and appreciate him though. We have the same worldview on most things.

DH makes me cappuccino every morning, which makes me feel loved as he knows how much I like it. He comes up and hugs me randomly sometimes and we always have a hug and kiss at night before sleep and in the morning unless one of us is asleep when the other gets up. We make sure we make time for sex and intimacy.

We share chores, but there's not conflict about who does what, we both have our own jobs that we each do and make an effort to do them, so it feels like we work as a team.

If there is something that bothers or worries one of us we discuss it calmly and honestly until we find a solution. We then move on and don't bring up past issues or blame each other.

We care about each other and prioritise each other, but also respect the other person's choice when either of us wants to go out and do something on our own, which both of us do. Not all of our interests are the same, which doesn't seem to matter, as we have a similar outlook on life.

We've been together for 13 years and it's the second marriage for both of us. It is a stark contrast to the way it was with my ex, which just felt really difficult all the time, as did his relationship with his ex at times. DH and I both feel that our relationship is easy, that getting on well never feels like an effort and we enjoy each other's company.

A lot of people wouldn't like this for themselves, but adopting traditional gender roles really works for us. We don't ever have disagreements and arguments about mundane things like money and chores, because there is a very clear division of responsibilities in our marriage. We know what to expect from each other when it comes to the practical stuff. Him being the provider, and relieving me from financial burdens, makes me feel very loved and taken care of. Likewise, he feels loved and taken care of from not having to do chores that he absolutely detests when he comes back home from work. But as I said, I know this won't be everybody's ideal - but it is ours.

It also works for us to have dates every week, without the kids. Kids are full on, but we both think it's important to not lose ourselves to parenthood to such an extent that we slip away from each other as husband and wife.

Lots of sex. It's not only a nice way to bond, but when needs are met, you just work so much better as a couple.

Giving each other alone time, and allow each other individuality. We don't live in each other's pocket. We have our own hobbies and interests, our own friends...and we give each other time for our own interests and friends.

Right now he's helping me take care of my mum. He's been really supportive about having her move in with us. He's so gentle and kind with her and I know when I'm not around she is in really good safe hands.