I'm not sure what I'm looking for posting this, a hand hold probably but if anyone has any practical suggestions I'd be happy to hear them. For context me and DH both work full time (I'm fully remote) and we have a 6 year old DD.
At the beginning of last year my DMiL slipped and fell hurting her ankle and wrist, this meant that she needed support for a few weeks with shopping (I already order it to be delivered to her house but I needed to be there to unpack it), doing her washing and taking to appointments. Thankfully she made a good recovery but this seemed to trigger a relapse in my DFiL mental health, he would normally be fine for years at a time but this time he made a very serious attempt to harm himself and needed to be hospitalised. For the rest of the year he was in and out of psychiatric hospitals, DH would get calls in the middle of the night from MiL that FiL was trying to hurt himself so he would have to go round and help her deal with that and the ambulance if they had been called. Sometimes he would spend an hour on the phone calming his Dad down, or stay overnight to keep an eye on him. When he was in hospital DH would need to drive his Mum to visit him a few times a week. He finally came home for good before Christmas and has been stable since but we are on pins encase he relapses. We also provide some support to them, a few visits a week, shopping taking to appointments etc.
In the spring of last year we put our house on the market and moved late summer, thankfully it was fairly straight forward but obviously a house move is always incredibly stressful.
Then in January my Dad had a stroke; poor DH found him when he'd popped round to drop his prescriptions off, unfortunately he'd had the stroke hours before and his recovery is going to be limited, he's been moved from hospital to a rehabilitation place a 30 minute drive away. I try and visit 2-3 times a week. His accommodation was not conventional so we have needed to keep an eye on it but unfortunately he has been burgled and had things vandalised, DH gets regular calls from neighbours saying there has been a break in, somethings damaged etc. Weve made arrangements for the place to be permanently secured and DH has taken Friday off work to get it all done but at some point I'm going to need to clear the whole place out which is going to be a huge job as his living conditions were poor. We still don’t know what the final prognosis will be and will need to arrange alternative housing for him when he leaves rehab, likely in a month or two.
A few weeks ago DH's very elderly Nan was taken in hospital and we've now been told she probably only has a few weeks left, aside from a weekly visit and a few odd jobs SiL had been taking on the lion's share of her care and making arrangements but understandably DH is visiting her most days given the prognosis.
My workplace are amazing, when Dad had the stroke they insisted I take the week off and as long as my work is done I can leave to visit the hospital or do anything I need to do in the day but obviously I have a full day's work to do one way or another, which often means working into the evening. My manager and I have a call most weeks just to make sure I'm okay and I've been told I can take time off if I need to but honestly I enjoy my job and focusing on something else is good for me.
It's so selfish but I feel like we've been in survival mode for over a year, we had lots of plans for the new house but we just don’t have the time or energy, a package of dust sheets has just dropped through the door and the garage is full of paint and brushes where I'm determined to make a start but then something happens.
We are due to go on holiday in two weeks, everyone is insisting that we go and on one hand I think we really need the break but on the other being a 3 hour flight away seems very reckless at the moment.