Can you ever recover a rocky relationship

[Sushe]

Just that really. Marriage of 8 years (2 young kids) is incredibly rocky, at points a bit toxic. DH wants to separate but I think it is worth one more shot (mainly for the kids). I think we should do therapy and basically try to be less shit to each other and perhaps from that we can get back to a point of happiness. I’m resigned to the fact that if this doesn’t work we will separate but I want to at least try (DH thinks pointless)

Has anyone ever managed to salvage a relationship that they thought was in the bin?

So are the children ok in this rocky relationship, you may want to stay but what impact is it having on the children?

Sure people stay in rocky relationsips all the time and it may work and be easier on the parents but ask the children in 20 years their thoughts

Sounds like its worth a try from your point of view, but not sure how engaged in the process your DH will be if he thinks it will be a waste of time.

The children are happy. We try to keep our arguments away from them but I do worry about what they are picking up on.

yes one of my concerns is that even if I do convince DH to get to therapy it won’t work unless he’s invested

It depends why it's rocky. If there is abuse therapy isn't recommended and won't help. We've seen a therapist twice due to circular arguments and resentments arising over specific issues and it's massively helped us but both of us were 100% invested in making things work. It's worth a shot if he'll agree but sounds like he may have already checked out of the relationship. Even if you end up separating the therapy could help you improve your communication and co-parent better. Again provided there's no abuse.