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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Seeking a useful closure POV.

2 replies

minhaquerida · 07/05/2025 21:59

Let's try succinct ( ish) Locked down overseas. 'Met' my 'Forever Lady' online (she was selling a property so entirely by chance) 6000 online messages later, calls, flowers, clothes etc you know how it goes (over 12 months) Fly over 20,000kms meet the next day. Wonderful, in all respects. She has a daughter and a sizeable property. I'm AirB&B ( absolutely fine, to start with) However this goes on and on. I fly out and return a few weeks later. Comms are still great. I'm still in AirB&B though. I'm getting suspicious there's an untold story here. She tells me 'I'm so happy' and 'I would marry you' ( no pressure from me as I am financially sound too ) I get Covid so have to isolate away from her and her child. I wait a week for the all clear and on the first day of being clear she asks why I have not invited her to be with me on that day?!
Nearly there! At this point I'd had enough and told her I'm not sure she has any interest in my well being or a relationship. Silence! Blocked! Vanished into thin air! Two years later and after some heartache (lessened by some strenuous adventure sports/travelling) I have no closure, no finality, no box to put it all in and put on the top of the wardrobe. Terrible language when up in the mountains though. How do I put it to rest? What are some ways to close the door on what seems untidy, unfinished business? TIA

OP posts:
TipsyJoker · 07/05/2025 22:32

So let me get this straight. You went over to meet her and stayed in an Airbnb. Then you had Covid and had to isolate. Then you went back and were annoyed you had to stay in the Airbnb again and when she asked you why you hadn’t come to see her the day you returned, you flew off the handle and accused her of not caring about the relationship. So, she blocked you. And now you’re wondering why she didn’t move you in quickly, (when she has a child) and dared to question you? Because that’s what it sounds like. You sound like you wanted to move things fast, despite the fact she has a child to consider, love bombed her and when you didn’t get it the way you wanted, you threw your toys out the pram and had a little mantrum. She saw the red flag and ran for the hills.

Coffeislife · 08/05/2025 01:08

In 12 months you wanted your foreign Internet romance to let you stay with her and her child at 2nd visit ? I'm a firm believer in 12 month for a traditional relationship, let alone ldr.

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