Thoughts on the recent podcast from ‘The Affair’ Anna Williamson?

[Nk11]

It was a wild one wasn’t it. What’s people’s thoughts on it?

I thought she sounded lovely but delusional. He's quite obviously stringing her along. It's sad she can't see that.

I was thinking of asking someone about this. I thought it was really sad. Not sure she’s been on a date, out for a meal, on holiday for 5 years. But did have an abortion. Delusional is right. Slightly frustrating that she hadn’t realised that and that she wasn’t challenged about it. Not so much the moral side but she’s clearly in la la land.

I thought she was keen to paint him out as such a good man. It turned my stomach when she was clearly delighted that he’d been in touch so soon, and so often, after the children were born. I don’t believe for a second she felt guilt towards the man’s partner like she said.

I can’t believe how long it has been going on for with no dates, no overnight stays, they just sit in her house.

I hope she sees sense at some point and walks away, but it doesn’t seem like it’ll happen any time soon.

What do you all think of Anna’s presenting on this podcast? I’m finding it really odd but I’m persevering as I’m intrigued by the stories.

I find her quite good 70% of the time but a few things really grate. Eg when she says “wey hey hold the clock…” as in when she said the wife was pregnant. Might be me but I found that irritating. It’s more though that she didn’t challenge the latest person. I mean seriously…

I thought that there was missing information that wasn’t probed on such as how they went about seeing each other, what happened with her child were they aware of this relationship, were other people suspicious etc. I felt she wasn’t very open with a lot of information and Anna did have to keep asking lots of questions. I know she does it as a no judgment space but there were some areas where it must be hard to not such as how this woman is just accepting of everything the guy says. Says he and his wife/partner are in a platonic relationship but next thing she’s pregnant and she just believes it was a mistake.

All I can think is the poor woman who is apparently oblivious to it all with two children to this man. He must think he’s gods gift to have both women where he wants them. Made me sick that she was saying how they have great sex and try new things all the time when you know he’s going home to his wife every night and probably doing the same there. Personally couldn’t cope with that.

I really enjoy this podcast. I felt sad for the woman on this episode because it’s clear this man gaslights the hell out of her. And probably the wife too.

I personally love Anna’s style, can’t see why it’s odd? I like the no judgement, I like the summaries because I can get lost if I’m doing something else, feels like a real conversation. It’s a tough job but I think she does it well. I’d imagine it’s not easy to get people to speak so probably can’t challenge too hard or they’d walk out 😬

I’m a bit confused by this thread because I thought it was a series of different women talking about different experiences?
I listened to one where the OW was shagging someone’s husband even though he was married and had a disabled baby. The OW ‘won’ the man, then switched the narrative to sound like she was a victim of abuse from the man. Anna lapped it up and openly said she wouldn’t give her a hard time about it.. possibly a condition of the OW agreeing to take part in the podcast.
I like Anna Williamson, I like her podcast, but she such as people pleaser that I would never trust her judgement or advice. She (and others) encouraged Wayne linekar to go after very young women on celebs go dating and it’s never sat right with me.

@getearnow It is a series yeah but this was just regarding the latest episode because it just seemed like she was delulu the way she was talking. Affairs are never going to be great are they someone’s always getting hurt but if you like a podcast I think they’re a good listen when you’re not involved that is!

She said this weeks ep in the OP. I listened to that ep and the girl was a teenager when he pursued her. She was def a victim of him too by sounds of it. Annoying that everyone is quick to jump on the women…
I don’t think she’s a people pleasure. Just… nice? I’d be mad as hell if I opened up to entertain others and then got told off instead of listened to

Oh sorry, I didn’t read the OP properly, I see now it’s about this weeks episode.
I’m not jumping on the woman, I haven’t heard the man’s side so I can’t comment. But im not saying it was all her fault. I thought talking about the abuse gave her a cop out so we had to feel sorry for her (even though she wasn’t sorry for the affair).
I agree that Anna Williamson is very nice. I listen to the Luanna podcast a lot and I genuinely like her but I think she can be fickle.

I've just listened to the latest one, where a woman is having an affair with a man from work - it's been going on for five years. In the early part of their relationship she didn't know he was with someone and then found out his partner was having a baby in two weeks. That, apparently, brought them closer, but then a few years later, after she'd had to have an abortion, his partner was expecting another baby. That again brought them closer.

I felt it was like listening to an addict. She never goes out of the house with this guy. It was like a permanent lockdown for her, though of course, not for him. It sounded as though she was giving up the chance of having her own child, though actually I wouldn't be surprised if she got pregnant and kept it, with him still visiting once a week.

Anna was absolutely rubbish - always on about validating her feelings, but didn't once say, "What's the best case scenario for you?" That would obviously be for her boyfriend to leave his child - I would have really liked them to discuss that.

It was interesting that she kept talking about his betrayal - I couldn't work out whether she meant the fact he was having sex with his partner or that they had another child together. She didn't seem to factor in that no, it's actually incredibly rare that someone gets drunk and has sex once, resulting in a pregnancy, and that in all likelihood that pregnancy had been carefully planned, talked about most days, and having sex frequently. In doing that he was literally telling affair partner that there wasn't a future for her with him.

I would have liked Anna to have talked to her about selfish behaviour - did the woman think her affair partner was selfish? She thought they weren't having sex - isn't that selfish, to have sex yourself but deny her a sexual relationship? What about him being able to go out and about for meals etc, but not her?

I felt like she was completely under his spell, as though he was a cult leader.

Anyway, that's off my chest now!

I like this podcast and felt sorry for the woman who was the other woman. I think she has bad self esteem and boundaries because of her past experience. At the end of the podcast she says she thinks she is worthy of a better relationship and I wanted to tell her to leave the fucker

I like the podcast but the latest episode made my blood boil. I think Anna gave her too easy of a ride but also gave her no solid advice or guidance whatsoever.

‘No judgement space’ blah blah but come on, the other woman needed telling to sack him off, he’s using and abusing two women. He’s neglecting his parental responsibilities. He’s robbed the other woman - and her child - of experiencing what a healthy relationship looks and feels like. It reminded me of The Flowers in The Attic ffs and all Anna could do was ‘hmmm’ and ‘aaah’.

I’ll calm down now.

Just listening and to the episode and it’s so sad…my primary sympathy is with the wife but this lady, she must know that someone in love shows off their partner, not hides in secret?

Why can’t she read his actions - he is a liar and a cheat. Why is she giving up her chance for a loving family? Why is she settling for such crumbs…?

I did find her viewpoint interesting and honest but it was difficult listening to hear her continually choosing such a man.

I personally thought Anna was her best on this episode. It’s not a therapy session or advice, because that would be unethical to do as a show. It’s basically an article but via audio. A conversation- it’s never been advertised as advice. Just a space to share, which she did. I’d have been fuming if I came on to share then got lectured. We don’t know what happened outside of the edited audio as well.

I felt the same, it’s a lot of food for thought and maybe listening back she might realise she is worth so much more.

I certainly didn't suggest she should be lectured. The OW seemed to be living a half-life while the guy was like a dog with two dicks. Anna is a counsellor and makes a lot of that in the show. She says in every episode that she's not judging and I think that's right, but at the same time when someone is experiencing cognitive dissonance to the level this woman was, I thought she could have tried to get her to look more deeply about her feelings.

Love this podcast and enjoying series 2 so far. I think as someone who has been through something similar to a couple of these episodes it’s interesting to me to hear others experiences.
Has anyone listened to series 2 episode 2? Obviously knew from the start of the podcast where it was going to go but how awful for that woman and her family.

Talia on this week’s episode was so confusing! Saying she doesn’t love him but he’s the love of her life. Then one bit when she was saying she would sometimes say she’s busy when he was asking to see her, or wouldn’t text back straight away because he hadn’t texted her for days, only to then say how great at communicating they were and how easy it was between them. She said she wouldn’t want him to leave his wife but towards the end of the episode did seem to suggest she would want him to. Very contradictory.
I also can’t believe she believes him when he says he hasn’t slept with his wife in 12 years 🙄

I am just catching up on this podcast. It's kind of addictive. I just finished episode 8 (s1) where the woman has an affair with a workmate whose wife has given him permission to stray because "needs".

He eventually leaves his wife and at this point they've been together for 5 years. But the way she describes him, it's like he threatens that he'll have to cheat if she doesn't meet his sexual demands (they're not NEEDS) which include swinging, nudism, and him having flings with men. He sounds totally entitled and a bit coercive, and she sounds terrified that he'll cheat on her (which he likely will one day).

Anna was like "so it's sort of a happy ending!" But I think anna is cleverer than she sounds , she gets out of the subject's way and they end up telling the truth....

Glad I’ve found this thread! Agree @Manova14, I think the woman was called Erica? Happy ending for that man in more ways than one by the sounds of it.

The woman who was having an affair with the man from work whose wife got pregnant twice… that was a frustrating and heartbreaking listen. That woman really couldn’t see that she was just repeating the same pattern of abusive men. She actually thinks she’s found one who loves her. He is faking the absolute piss out of her. How sad to have self esteem that low.

Yes @herdmentality, it was Erica.
Agree about the other one, it was heartbreaking!

Glad to see more people have been listening! Yes agree about the one where he had 2 kids with his wife. You really want to talk some sense into these people, one day she will look back at all those wasted years it’s so sad. Especially when she found out she was pregnant herself. Feel sorry for the wife too, wonder if she’ll ever find out!

I've been catching up on this podcast and am glad to find others who share my view! It was genuinely horrifying to listen to this poor woman settle for crumbs from what sounds like a class A manipulator and liar. 5 years? 2 kids? With no signs he will leave his wife because he keeps having more kids with her! And I kept thinking of the poor wife who is probably just as manipulated by him. Enough to put you off men for life.

I thought Anna did well in this episode, actually. She can't challenge the guests too much or they won't agree to share, but as someone who has had bad relationships in the past (nothing like this tbf) once you say it out loud and you see someone else's face and their reactions it really does shake you up. I'm hoping that her sharing with Anna and perhaps some further off microphone probing of the issues might make her wake up a bit. I kept thinking of the sunk cost fallacy – she said it's been going on so long and I got the sense she feels like she needs to see it through to the end. But the only end will be her in X years time realising she wasted her life with this loser. I hope we get a follow up episode!

I was thinking that, it would be good to have follow up episodes if people make changes to their lives afterwards.