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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice/ support needed. Ready to leave a very unhealthy relationship

1 reply

Kelly202467 · 07/05/2025 17:45

Dear all.

I have had a difficult life so far. Growing up I had a difficult upbringing with a lot of abuse, neglect and no love or affection.
So at 17 I thought I found my happy ending. I was very young, vulnerable and naive. I entered a relationship with a man of 47. He was the first person in my life to show any kindness and love. And I fell for it. This bit goes to show how desperate I was he was a man on benefits and lived in a house that could easily be on a TV show for hoarders.

I'm 36 now with four children with this man. Older wiser me now knows I was groomed. During the last 19 years he has been coercively controlling, financial abusive (only had a bank account when I turned 33, before that he would control the money completely), verbally and emotionally abusive. I have been very isolated, told what I can eat ,when I can sleep. I have no friends, and no family who care.

I've been in therapy and with her help and support, it's helped me to reach out to my local council to enquire about housing and I've made contact with some charities, still at the beginning of all of this.

Is there anybody who has been in a similar situation and can offer any advice on how to navigate this situation? I am determined to leave. Im not walking on eggshells anymore. I want better my children and me. But I am scared and a little worried.

OP posts:
GarrynotsoGorilla · 07/05/2025 17:59

@Kelly202467 No real advice sorry, but kudos for you for making this change and doing something proactive about it. I hope that you get to find out what living a real life can feel like and that you can show your children how life should be. Wish you all the best.

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