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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why is my husband not think of whats important to me?

3 replies

motherof3married22years · 07/05/2025 04:24

i have been married for 22 years and 3 children. Im at a point in my marriage and not sure if i am being unreasonable but i have a need for emotional connection. i have said to him clearly that I'm tired of remembering and organising everything and nice for him to step up and show care and wanting to contribute. he says he does yet only will do things when i ask not actually being thoughtful enough to think hey these are my kids too and i want to have a part in contributing to my eg daughter 21st. is this just how men are wired?? Mothers day is coming up and seems he doesn't even know which is hurtful as i pour myself into this family day in and day out. i didn't remind him but i did ask if he has plans this weekend and he said no and would (after i prompted him) clean the yard a bit up to help contribute to our daughter 21st that I'm organising and its in 2 weeks. i feel disconnected to him and feel I'm always the ones isntgating him to do things for us and if i don't nothing will happen. he's overall a great husband and says he loves me but at some point you cant just think work is all he focuses on and nothing else really happens for our family unless i say or remind him. even late nights he works i have many many times said can you just please communicate when your home and 90% of time he forgets which shows me clearly what i request is not important or he has some brain issue?! any feedback would be appreciated

OP posts:
Summerhillsquare · 07/05/2025 05:31

Wired? No. Socialised to be lazy, selfish and view women as lesser service aids. How have you lasted 22 years??!!

motherof3married22years · 07/05/2025 08:46

he works hard and is present for kids and does his best when i say what my needs are but just feel im parenting him most time as he just doesnt get.

OP posts:
S0j0urn4r · 07/05/2025 09:36

He's got away with it for 22 years. This won't change overnight, if at all.

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