Married to partner of many years, now both in our late 60's. On the whole the marriage has been happy but we have always had separate friendship groups( no friends as a couple). My husband's passion is classic cars & for as long as we've been together every bank holiday weekend he has gone off with his mates. I found this profoundly irritating esp when our kids were younger & I would be at home on my own with the kids. I'd take them out & see other families with the Dad there & it made me resentful especially because one child has profound physical disabilities. Now I quite like him going away, maybe a little too much.
Those kids are now adults & both still at home. I am still caring for my now adult child with disabilities, our local services are atrocious, we tap into services that we can but all day time activities & no respite at all so if I'm lucky I get 2 nights away once a year when my husband steps in. I would go more but the child I care for is very attached to me & creates such a hullabaloo it hardly seems worth it. Also my energy levels have dropped considerably in the last few years
Of late I have noticed my husband is getting a bit forgetful, grumpy, having trouble with technology(his phone), using apps to book GP appts & banking. This evening he mistook a barcode for an expiry date on medication & showed me 'how old' the medicine was when it was just a few months out of date. He'll often ask me to clarify things for him & explain them when only a few years back the boot was on the other foot.
I have to have a minor procedure under local anaesthetic & husband was charged with minding our child till carer arrives but has come down sick at the weekend & I can tell is in a mood that I will out of action for a day or two.
I really feel that my life has shrunk down to the microcosm that's my home. I don't feel appreciated & I don't see any improvement coming. I would not be financially secure enough to set up on my own with my disabled child & would struggle to get the kind of support I feel I need. I'm just so fed up with every aspect of my life at the moment & can't see it changing.