How to introduce teens

Hopingitsreal · 2025-05-06T13:44:50+00:00

A question for those of you who have teenagers- how did you introduce a new partner? I’m wondering what kind of place? I want to keep it as short and sweet as possible! We have been together a year, taken it slow and I know he’s a good egg! My teens have asked to meet rather than me instigating.

Betterdeals · 06/05/2025 14:49

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Original poster

Hopingitsreal · 06/05/2025 14:51

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No he doesn’t.

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Betterdeals · 06/05/2025 15:00

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minnienono · 06/05/2025 15:04

Mine were nosy so dd1 made an excuse to come to the house when she was meant to be staying at her boyfriends, dd 2 pestered me for pictures before I’d even met now dh in person, so as soon as we had been on a date she wanted to FaceTime (was at university) they met him properly 6 weeks later. We kept it really friendly, he’s my partner not their stepdad and never had any issues

Snorlaxo · 06/05/2025 15:07

A meal would probably be a good idea because there’s a natural end if it’s awkward. You could eat and have a chat then go out with your boyfriend afterwards.

Whizzgosh · 06/05/2025 15:15

My dp met my children when he came over to help me with some DIY, he bought KFC on his way over, they came down to eat and then retreated to their bedrooms while he helped me sort out my wonky curtain pole. They were won over by junk food and being relieved of DIY duties.

Picklechicken · 06/05/2025 15:49

I wouldn’t go for a meal, it’s too full on and intense. I’d go for something like a country walk and have a coffee and cake in a shop if they have one there; or even see a film and then go for a smoothie or something afterwards so there’s something to talk about. When dd met dh (16 years ago now!) we went to the cinema and then went and had a drink in Costa afterwards. We did a lot of casual shopping type things where she could browse and chat at the same time.

its2025 · 06/05/2025 15:53

My partner and I both had teens of similar ages. We went to an activity place (like where you climb round in the trees an a course) The kids were all between 13-16 at the time. We did the activity - stayed for a picnic lunch and then actually mine asked if everyone could come back to our house after - that was totally on their terms and worked out well.

TreeDudette · 06/05/2025 15:57

Mine asked to meet him so we met up for a coffee whilst I was with her so we could drink, eat and he could then leave and I could ask her opinion!

Blushingm · 06/05/2025 16:55

Dp met my DD first at Wagamama (she chose) then again at a buffet place. DS met him at the buffet place the next time we went. When he met DD we’d been together about 2 years and DS almost 3

BeerAndMusic · 07/05/2025 00:26

For us I remember her popping in for 5 mins when my son was around, cant remember daughter, or her kids but it was just round her house, so nothing formal or anything

Kiksma · 27/12/2025 22:47

My kids refuse to "allow" me to bring my partner to my house.
I have two sons - 18 and 15. I asked for a divorce from their dad in the summer of 2023 when their dad became very verbally abusive in front of the children. He refused to leave the house even though we were legally divorced in Jan this year. That was until he physically assaulted me in the summer of 2025 in front of the boys and was arrested and removed from the house permanently. He has had a lot of influence on the kids, talking negatively about me over the years.
I met my partner over a year ago and didn't tell the boys that I was in a relationship until August this year. I would like for my new partner to come to the house and spend some time with me here rather than at cafes... My partner is also going through a divorce and hasn't got a place of his own right now. We would like to just sit together on the sofa and watch a movie. Not staying overnight yet. Just a simple coffee, chat, TV. However, my kids are adamant that he should not be allowed in the house, and are threatening to cause trouble if he does come. I've been told that this would demonstrate me choosing him over them... Essentially, they are using coercive control and emotional blackmail on me, just like their dad did. I feel so trapped and bullied. How should I handle this situation?

Pigeonpoodle · 27/12/2025 23:09

Kiksma · 27/12/2025 22:47

My kids refuse to "allow" me to bring my partner to my house.
I have two sons - 18 and 15. I asked for a divorce from their dad in the summer of 2023 when their dad became very verbally abusive in front of the children. He refused to leave the house even though we were legally divorced in Jan this year. That was until he physically assaulted me in the summer of 2025 in front of the boys and was arrested and removed from the house permanently. He has had a lot of influence on the kids, talking negatively about me over the years.
I met my partner over a year ago and didn't tell the boys that I was in a relationship until August this year. I would like for my new partner to come to the house and spend some time with me here rather than at cafes... My partner is also going through a divorce and hasn't got a place of his own right now. We would like to just sit together on the sofa and watch a movie. Not staying overnight yet. Just a simple coffee, chat, TV. However, my kids are adamant that he should not be allowed in the house, and are threatening to cause trouble if he does come. I've been told that this would demonstrate me choosing him over them... Essentially, they are using coercive control and emotional blackmail on me, just like their dad did. I feel so trapped and bullied. How should I handle this situation?

That’s unusual and extreme! However, I think you need to start your own thread if you want advice on this.

I think you need some I assert your authority here, and tell them he is coming over… and that they’re being ridiculous.

Kiksma · 28/12/2025 00:26

Pigeonpoodle · 27/12/2025 23:09

That’s unusual and extreme! However, I think you need to start your own thread if you want advice on this.

I think you need some I assert your authority here, and tell them he is coming over… and that they’re being ridiculous.

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I agree, and I did start my own thread once I worked out how posting here works... 😊
I tried deleting this "comment" above, but can't figure out how to do it...