Ridiculous Crush. Sad I will probably never see them again.

[DakOneLy]

I’ve developed a ridiculous crush on a medical professional that I have been visiting for the past 6 months. I saw them for the last time on Friday and I feel so sad about it.
These feelings to me just seem so unusual. I can’t stop thinking about them even though I’m happily married.

I feel guilty that they are on my mind all the time and dh has no idea. I wish I didn’t feel this way but I don’t know how to stop it.

I know that over time I will start to forget about them and hopefully then these feelings will fade.

Not sure if I should tell dh or not. One part of me thinks that would be mean and I would hate if he told me he had a crush on someone else. Other part of me don’t want to keep the secret from him even though it’s probably for the best.

Cant believe I feel like this. It’s embarrassing!

God, don't tell him!

Just keep it as a nice memory that will fade in time.

It will fade away very quickly OP. Don't tell anyone, these feelings are very fleeting and you will feel so foolish if you do, in a few weeks.

No no no. No good will come of you telling him. At best he’ll tease you forever about having a crush. At worst, only you know how he’ll react.

You haven’t acted on it, you won’t see them again, so what’s the point. These things are best kept to yourself.

Think of all the people you've had crushes on in the past who now never cross your mind. Do not tell your husband.

It’s common to have a crush on medical professionals. Who isn’t attracted to a sensitive, intelligent, caring hero? (Especially when they’re dishy) Just accept it for what it is. They’ve probably got countless other patients with similar feelings.

Yes, you are all right. Best not to tell dh. It all feels strange as I haven’t had a crush on anyone since I met dh 16 years ago.

I hate keeping secrets!

It’s not really a secret in my book. It’s a fantasy. Surely everyone has them from time to time. You haven’t done anything wrong or lied about something.

Medical professionals are easy to have crushes on as they are kind and caring generally.

Look up limerance, the science of it brings you back down to earth.

After researching limerance, I see it’s probably that what I’m experiencing.
It was only once I realised I’d probably never see them again, that I started to have these intense feelings.

It’s crazy to think I have so much admiration for them yet they probably forgot who I am already.

Of course you shouldn’t tell him!!

It’s just a crush and it will fade.

Oh, OP, I can definitely relate to this. I'm 2.5 years into seeing my surgeon and do have a bit of a thing for him! 😳 I'd be sad to not see him again too.

Thankfully, my body is shite and falling apart a bit (he's operated on me twice so far!) so I'm destined to see him on a semi-regular basis until he retires, as he's keeping me under monitoring to see how I go.

I certainly wouldn't confess to my DH about it. After all, it's not real, is it (in that it's not reciprocal, just a somewhat stereotypical feeling)? It's just what sometimes happens with medical professionals who you see over a period of time.

Thinking about it, I’m sure I’ve experienced limerance once before. I was younger then and not married so I didn’t feel guilty. I feel like I’m betraying dh.

It's quite common to get a crush on counsellors or medical professionals that are showing you care and attention.

Is that something you are lacking from dh?

As long as you're not acting on the crush, you're doing nothing wrong. The feelings will pass.

@category12dh is great but we are currently going through a stressful situation( not relationship related). Maybe that’s why I’m feeling this way. Don’t know where it’s come from really. I’ve seen this person regularly for 6 months then the moment thats come to an end I’m left thinking how much I miss seeing them.