Too quick

[Etoile1]

Met a guy via Bumble, spoke for a week then met up.Have had about 5 dates and also been intimate.He seems really lovely but I now feel he wants to move too quick after only knowing eachother 5 weeks.
He said things which make me feel are red flags, I was clear I wanted to go slow as only a year since my marriage ended.
He agreed but has since said he loves me twice(way too soon for me), has also said I'm out of his league and waiting this out until I realise(seems odd).Also he acted v disappointed after a date when I said I was going home and not spending another night.My gut feeling is he is too invested too quick, thoughts?It has really put me off and think I am going to knock it on the head.I feel like he will be gutted but it just feels wrong.Are these things red flags?kind advice please.

I think you should listen to your gut feelings.

Go with your gut. If he’s lovebombing you or getting too invested too quickly and it’s given you the ick then it’s not going to get any better.

Yeah i have kind of got the ick from this now

Run far and fast!

Your instincts are there to protect you. It’s all too much too soon.

Yup been there done that. Got lovebombed and put on a pedestal and told ‘don’t know what you see in me’. Made me very cautious and a little sad inside as I know this wasn’t a healthy start. However, I fancied the pants of him and let it go but after a year and but I had to end it as these red flags do not become green with time as I’d hoped.

Always listen to your gut. Just because your conscious brain doesn't see the red flags doesn't mean your instinctual subconscious can't, and that instinct is telling you to run.

Listen to your gut. He sounds suffocating (the love part) and moving too fast. He doesn’t even know you that well yet as it’s early days.

Yeah I know, I even feel nervous putting an end to it,he said it twice too.

Oh dear, so you wish you listened to your gut?

Absolutely. He was very intense from the start, by our first Xmas we’d only been together 7 weeks but he bought me a ton of gifts including expensive perfume and honestly my heart just sank. He also constantly told me how amazing he thought I was and yet he knew hardly nothing about me! He didn’t seem particularly bothered to want to know either. I just felt like he was the kind of person who lived being in a relationship and he would eventually calm down. Except he didn’t. His intense nature eventually resulted in accusation of cheating and jealousy with silent treatment if I had to go away for work. It was ridiculous and draining. So yeah should have listened to my gut and never ever again will I entertain a relationship with someone who acts this way again!

Told my GF I loved her after 3 weeks, it can be fine, and still together. But we both moved at the same pace. Had we not then would probably have similar gut feeling issues

If your gut says these are red flags, then they're red flags. Even if there is nothing off with him at all, it sounds like your gut is saying this isn't the relationship for you and even if that turns out to be the only real red flag, that's totally okay, it's totally okay to end it because you feel uncomfortable for any reason.

I second the ick. Too soon for the L word but as you said you want to take it slow, then very disrespectful.
Have you looked him up on Are we dating the same guy, and done a Clare's law?

You said you wanted to go slow but you got intimate. Seems like he took the intimacy as a clear sign that things weren’t slow anymore.

The “red flag” issue is a red herring. It could be a negative sign or not but you can’t relly tell on this much information.

What is more important is that you seem to have lost attraction fairly quickly and you have a miss match in how you both want things to go.

It is better to end things. Let him down nicely (but clearly and honestly) as it is quite possible he is genuinely nice and just has unattractive behaviour.