So, I have entered the world of online dating and finding it all a bit if a minefield. I was in a controlling relationship and remained alone for 5 years following the breakup, to rebuild myself and my life after being left with no money/job. It has taken me a long time to do this and I felt I was then ready to meet someone. My friends set me up with their friend and i thought things were good, but he was an avoidant and dumped me by text after 14 mths together, so back to square one.
I waited 9 mths to be sure I was over that, but truly I had been ready to meet someone before he came along and I didn't want to give up on that. I have children, but the youngest is with her dad alt weekends and the older ones have their own plans and I spend a lot of time alone. I am attractive, have a good job, studying for a masters and I am a good person ... I'm trying to say that I am not a terrible catch, but I am finding it all really hard.
I had been on a few one off dates and not gelled with anyone. Then, I met this guy, he was good looking, really funny and we got on great, he seemed really into me. We went on 4 dates in 2 weeks and he was very consistent with texts etc. Fast forward to the last date, i asked him when he was free, he came but I felt he wasn't as into it and he didn't kiss me when he left. He carried on texting and sending me photos of things as before, but didn't arrange any dates. I asked him if he was free next weekend and he said no, he is going for a day trip with some friends, that's cool... But he didn't then say, I can do these other days though. I left it and didn't get any texts for over 24 hrs, but he was online plenty in that time and into early hrs. So, yesterday eve I gave him the out and said if he doesn't want to date anymore i would prefer to know, rather than a slow fade. He replied immediately and said he does want to see me but wants to get to know me slowly, doesn't want to hurt me or mess me around and he doesn't want to get hurt either. I was surprised by this and quite pleased to hear, as I really like him. I replied and agreed that i felt the same and would like to continue seeing him but I felt he hadn't been keen to arrange dates. He read it but didn't reply and again was online in the early hrs. Gut tells me that he is probably seeing people and is keeping me on the back burner, do I wait and see if he is just keeping me as a place holder or what... I know people say that you should date multiple people, but I'm old school and that feels wrong and i know I'd be gutted to see him on another date. My friends are all happily married and have never done OLD and they think I am overthinking it, but I have no idea if it is that, or I am being a fool. Sorry it is such a long post, I feel quite ridiculous asking for advice in my 40s,but I genuinely don't know who to ask and I also really like this guy but don't want to be taken advantage of