Friendship advice please!

[Zoeyclash]

I'm just looking for a but of reassurance here and hopefully some wise words ..... I'm in a friendship group with two others. It started off about 10 years because our kids are all the same age, go to the same school, do lots of the same acyivities togther etc. Our kids are older now but the three of us are friends outside of our kids. I've got more responsibilities in my life than the other two..... elderly parents, more children than them, DH away a lot etc. The other two often plan things together without including me e.g. nights out or coffee dates. I know it sounds very petty at nearly 50 years of age, but I find it very hurtful to be excluded from these. The other two mums are closer with each other than either of them are with me, which I completely accept can be a natural dynamic in a friendship group of three, but I'd just like to hear your thoughts on this situation if any of you have experience of anything similar. I'd also like to know how I can just make my peace with being the "spare wheel" of the friendship group. Thanks all.

Three is often an awkward number in my experience. Sorry you feel this way. I don’t have any good advice besides first of all not assuming it’s about you-they might ask you less because you have more responsibilities and assume you’ll either be less available or don’t want to make you feel pressured to come out if you have a lot on. You might have to let them know that you’re available for meet ups. Have you tried inviting them both out a bit more? Or say ‘saw you’re going to xxx, I’m free that day-can I come along?’ I suppose it depends on your friendship but I know for certain that you can’t rely on other people to notice or take action, you definitely have to take responsibility for trying to change the status quo. I wish it could be easier!