After 24 years of marriage we have come to the end of the road and I am lost. I need to be practical now but don’t know where to turn.
I met my DH when I was 17 and had a horrendous childhood. I thought he was my knight in shining armour. He was the first person in my life that actually noticed me and claimed that he loved me. I believed everything he told me. We married, had 3 children in the first 4 years. When I was pregnant with my 1st I discover he was having an emotional affair. I was young, naive and pregnant. DH begged and I forgave him. 5 years later he was talking to men online, l left him which triggered a massive positive change in him and he was a great co-parent.
Then I had a freak accident after 2 years. I broke my back falling down a flight of stairs. I lost my job and independence and DS was diagnosed with ASD. DH stepped up, we moved back into his house and he organised kids and my rehab. I’m now physically disabled and developed fibromyalgia and can’t work. Our relationship was the better than it had ever been. We were spending quality time together, planning the future, then last summer I discovered he had another emotional affair. He went to counselling, I thought he was putting in effort, it was painful but he was trying (or so I thought) turns out his trying involved visiting a prostitute. I am done. I told him I wasn’t doing this any more.
DH then took it upon himself to tell the DD’s and DS, I was and still am fuming. He told them more than any child needs to know, then walked out on them. They are all late teens.
DH has apologised, cried, begged, arranged therapy etc. but I’m done. However I don’t know how to get out. We rent, have very little savings, 2 kids at uni, 1 working. I need to leave for my own sanity but I’ve no chance of getting a council house round here. We live next to the train station and kids all commute via train. My GP and physio are across the street, my friends are all local. I’m completely stuck. I get disability benefits but they don’t go far. I can’t drive, taxis are a necessity. I have thought about trying to find some kind of flexible work online but my pain is so unpredictable and I have lots of hospital appointments so I don’t know who would employ me. I need to get out of here.
If you could give a 45 year old, exhausted, rundown woman some advice I would be so grateful.