How to put somebody off?

[bigfacthunter]

A woman has taken a shine to me and I think is keen to establish a friendship. She’s very friendly and smart. We have the same sense of humour, attend the same art class, and it probably makes sense that we should be friends. However… I am head over heels for her partner (who I know from work). I have no intention of making anything happen with the partner. Splitting up a family is not on my to do list so since realising the extent of my feelings I have given the partner an extremely wide berth.

I know I’ll get over this but in the meantime I absolutely do not want to go round to theirs for bloody dinner or go to the theatre with her 🥴🙈

So how do I shake her? I’m running out of excuses!

(I know there’s no answer really, I’m just a bit sad and amused at the same time and needed to write it all down because nobody IRL knows about my feelings for this person)

Not difficult surely. Turn down her invitations and distance yourself from her and she'll stop asking.

Gah what a shame, sounds like you'd get on really well!!

You could keep turning her down, maybe pick things up later.

But, if you're quite close by so wouldn't want to be too evasive about it, maybe just have the odd drink for now, get on with dating (if you're single and looking ) and keep her at a friendly arm's length until you're over her old man? Perhaps group drinks with the class?

I've had work crushes before for the want of a better word and it's been intoxicating. However, it's passed eventually and honestly? I can't see the appeal particularly once it has. I'd choose a potential good friend over worrying too much about this as long as you can hold your tongue (not too much booze).

I really appreciate this perspective! Thanks 🙂