Can This Be Salvaged

[GeorgeSmiley1969]

I, M55, began relationship with F50 a month ago and things moved very quickly and very positively.

On our 3rd date we deleted dating apps from my phone and slept together that night. Next day she created a new dating profile using a friends pics and discovered that I hadn't fully disabled/deleted my dating profiles so I happily went thru the convoluted process of doing this.

We connected on every level and I explained that this was very different to my previous relationship from Dec 22 to Aug 24 which although monogamous was never going to last forever because we weren't hugely compatible and there was a 17 year age gap.

We planned a weekend away in UK next weekend, had 2 European trips planned including one she booked for my birthday in October and were talking of moving in together and marriage. I am once divorced and she, I thought, was twice divorced.

She discovered that my ex is still a Friend on TikTok, which I haven't used for approx 1 year, so I deleted this completely.

She talked at length about her last relationship with someone all of her family hated, who used rape porn sites on Dark Web, and once locked her in a room on holiday for several hours.

Yesterday while scrolling thru her cat's Instagram she came across a couple of pictures of her rape porn ex and disclosed that she had a 3rd marriage as a teenager.

I disclosed to her that in my last relationship I did NOT delete the dating apps although I never chatted to anyone on them far less went on any dates or had any sexual encounters.

She has ended the relationship because she says she cannot trust me because I did not delete the apps during this 20 month relationship, which in her words was more of a "situationship".

Couple of other points: her cat is named after the grandmother of the Rape Porn ex and when she was googling I noticed that my ex's name was in her search history. Although my ex and I were not particularly compatible she is undoubtedly extremely physically attractive.

We had some wonderful times together and would appreciate and advice on whether is is worth trying to salvage this or should I just move on.

You've only been seeing each other a month. Too much too soon.
Throw this one back.

She is totally unhinged. Run. Fast.

🤔

What?

Unclear what’s actually going on but AI think you should move along.

Another reason she gave for ending the relationship was that I disclosed that my celebrity crush is Sherilyn Fenn.

The lady I was seeing is blonde whereas Sherilyn is brunette so this proved to her that she wasn't my type. Plus she said that if I was seriously committed to our relationship then I wouldn't have a celebrity crush.

It's been a month. When someone is this hard work a month in, it's not the one for you.

Seriously you’re 55 and you need to ask whether this much drama in a few weeks is relationship material?

FWIW she sounds totally unhinged so I’d say block and breath a sigh of relief.

However in an almost 2 years relationship you didn’t delete your dating profile - huge red flag imo

Taxi!

Look, she has decided not to take things further with you so there is no need to dissect this further. And I am with her on the 20 month relationship not deleting the dating apps. Its like placing yourself on hold while promising something to someone, just in case you find something better.

Work on you and enjoy life, but take your time. And if you are telling someone you are dating that you have deleted the apps, and lie about it to protect yourself, that is a big indicator to what lies ahead for the one who finds out you hid it rather than delete when you said you did.

You dated for a matter of hours.

Don't give any of it one moment of thought.

Thanks for the straight talking and tough love.

Think I already knew the answer to my question was NO

She's clearly very insecure. Before long you will be walking on egg shells, afraid to do or say anything, in case she decides it's not appropriate in her mind. Honestly, a relationship shouldn't be this hard work a month in. Honestly, run for the hills, and don't look back. She's really not worth all this agro.

I think that you both sound way too dramatic, but she’s in the lead by a country mile.

Maybe try staying single for a while and getting past Al this drama?

Was already walking on eggshells. When she booked and paid for trio to France for my birthday in October without telling me, I became seriously concerned.

Talking marriage, moving in and all the other dramas..four weeks in!!!!
Insane!! 😜

Plus booking and paying for a holiday in 6 months time.

i hope you haven’t got a rabbit OP 🤣

This is supposed to be the fun part of meeting someone. It's supposed to be a happy time, getting to know each and enjoying spending time with each. None of what you describe sounds very happy.
All of the deleting apps, the checking up on your ex, the untruths regarding how many times she's been married etc. It all sounds very intense.

I think this amount of issues suggest it's a bit of a non- starter.

I'd focus on meeting somebody else. You're not meant for each other, and the intensity all sounds very unhealthy.