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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Loosing respect for my partner how do I navigate through it?

5 replies

Bear199191 · 04/05/2025 16:47

I’ve been with my partner 5 years this November.
I love my partner and I can’t fault him in a lot of ways but we argue so much about his alcoholism.
I have 4 daughters and anyone with kids or looks after kids knows how hard it can be but we wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m currently 39 weeks pregnant and have my c section on Tuesday 6th. I have health anxiety and I’ve been trying to remain calm and positive. Since Thursday early hours I’ve had different symptoms like a lot of pressure and uncomfortable feelings in my pelvis. My last daughter was a emergency c section and I’m not sure if down there is getting abit tender with that.
Ive also since Thursday early hours had shivers and chills with a normal temp and heart rate.
aches and sensitivity on my skin. Feels like I’ve come down with something. The highest temp I had was 38 but it went down within an hour and hasn’t crept up since.
but I’m feeling cold now and then and just tender all over my skin. I don’t feel all that!
My partner has been working about an hour away and we need the extra money however I have found myself to have lost a lot of respect for him because he knows I’m Ill and could go into the labour at anytime but when he leaves work he prioritises others. He drove out of the way on Friday to drop the boys to the pub because they needed to be dropped off to get their hair cut, went into the pub stayed in there for an hour and then the plans changed and he has to drop the boys somewhere else. An hour passed and he was down the road still 40 mins away.
many other time it wouldn’t matter but now? Really? He left work at 3:15 and then got back home at 7pm. He said he would lay the flooring in our bedroom so it’s ready. Time he got in he wasn’t in a way to lay it and it was late!
he knew I was ill and may have needed to go up the hosp, he knows my anxieties and he knows that the last time I had these symptoms my daughter was EC Section at 35 weeks!
then today he’s literally working next to home and calls to say he’s got to drop money off to someone because they want it now 15 mins down the road. Which is fine I ring him an hour later and he’s still driving and the plans have changed again and he’s being told he needs to drive further to drop the money.. is it that hard to tell the man that he can’t drive down there as needs to do things has his own priorities and things todo?? He’s dropping the money to his step dad which means he will hand out there and drink.
I’ve lost a lot of respect over the last few days more than ever and I can’t get over it. I don’t even want him at the c section

OP posts:
TheRubyPoet · 04/05/2025 16:47

*losing

rubyslippers · 04/05/2025 16:49

You leave him
how many of the children are his?
he’s an alcoholic and is showing you time and again who he is
I'm sorry you’re in the situation and feeling vulnerable
do you have any family who could help out? You cannot stay with him long term - it’s not tenable

financialmuddle · 04/05/2025 16:49

You are knowingly having a child with an alcoholic? I'd find it hard to feel any respect for you.

S0j0urn4r · 04/05/2025 18:04

You lost me at "we argue so much about his alcoholism."

TipsyJoker · 04/05/2025 19:13

Next time he goes out tell him not to bother coming back.

It also sounds like he’s drinking and driving. I would report him to the police. You don’t want him drinking and driving with the baby in the car if he gets unsupervised contact.

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