when is the right time to make a relationship permanent?

[mistressmiggins]

Please give me ur honest opinion

exH (well ex any minute now)
he left/was kicked out Nov 2005

met DP in summer 2006 by accident - cant help timing. Still with him and he is my rock. He has a DD (10) with custody and I have DS (6) and DD(3). We see each other every weekend but not during week cos live too far apart (schools)

Its lonely during the week. It's lovely at weekends but sometimes hard with his DD as only child & has sharing issues......getting better though.

We are a weekend family and my children adore him. His DD is great & most of the time we get on OK & she accepts me as mother figure - I am 100% fair & consistant - no favourtism.

We have a 3-tier system in education. Should we try to move in together this summer, or wait until she is ready to move to 3rd tier? I feel (as do my family & friends) that life will be easier when we are a permanent family BUT I dont want to disrupt her education, and Im scared cos exH was unfaithful and I like to protect myself from further hurt.....

not sure what the best answer is but i suspect it's best if the family is settled - education can sort itself out as long as you work at it - good luck whatever you decide

Hmm, thats a tough call. Are you moving to him or is he moving to you? If he (and dd) are moving to you that will be a tough road whenever it happens. Perhaps you could involve his dd in the process (not the decision making as she's too young for that kind of responsibility imo) but perhaps in terms of dates, kitting out a new room etc. Gut feeling is there'll be disruption whenever you do it, so do it asap and get it over with.

his dd wants to move in & decorate her bedroom - she is desperate to move
as is DP

its me who is the stumbling block

'and Im scared cos exH was unfaithful and I like to protect myself from further hurt'

this strikes me as the real issue,if your dp's dd is desperate to move in anyway.

you have to ask yourself if you trust yur dp,as an individual.if you do and your worry is just general,then go for it ASAP.

it is my problem / insecurity

my DP is 100% faithful
my children love him
my step DD is happy wiht me & wants to move in

I do trust him

we should move in & become a happy family of 5

Hurray! A happy ending an a relationship thread

Let us know what happens

Oh thats lovely

I really wish you all the best.
I would say go for it sooner - as it may be best for his DD to make new friends before moving schools.