Widowed and wondering

[ByCalmBrickPanda]

I have just turned 60, and was widowed suddenly 2 years ago. We were happily married for 26 years and I have children who are all early 20s and come and go (uni etc).
I had recently begun to feel I could contemplate starting an intimate relationship again, but now I feel unsure.
I have become very close (romantically) to someone who was a friend of my partner, and there are hugs and kisses, but I wonder if I can go further. I feel so happy when we spend time together, but when I get home it all seems a bit complicated, as we both have children and our own houses/friends/lives. It does feel like love when we are together.
Perhaps hugs, kisses and coffee out will be as far as we get. At 60 I’m wondering if it’s just unrealistic to expect to start a new long term intimate relationship, or maybe I’m just overthinking things now that being 60 is a reality.

I don’t see why not. Your children are nearly grown and there’s no reason why they shouldn’t or wouldn’t accept a new person being around - they might be delighted for you! It takes time to integrate two lives together and there’s always hurdles in the easiest of situations. It’s lovely you’ve found someone, I hope it works out.

I get what you are saying OP, and I am sorry for your loss.
Do what you feel is comfortable. Some MN here who have established good relationships but living in their own separate homes. Take your time and if you have not already, bring this up with your new partner, see what he is thinking and be brave with the questions, and what you may need as well.

In time you will find what works for you, and how you would like the next chapter to be like.

You keep saying at 60....60 is still so young. It's not a barrier. You've got another life ahead. Take things slowly but you could live a long and happy life so if you have someone to share it with embrace it.

Why would being 60 be a reason not to? You both want to so it would be a waste to limit yourselves

Op Go ahead if it feels right and as for the children probably best if you inform them in advance of your romantic thoughts so that it does not come as a surprise!
But at the end of the day its up to you both and if anyone objects or makes comments it is nothing to do with them.

Very grateful for all these thoughtful responses. I don't know why I've been a bit fixated on the round number age - it's silly to let that hold me back from loving someone again. I think taking things slowly is great advice - thank you everyone.

My aunt found love at 70 & remarried. They have just celebrated their silver wedding!

Do you think your body is able to have sex comfortably ? I'm talking about vaginal dryness , atrophy , or prolapse etc .
If you have any suspicions of the above , it's maybe best to start treating for them now . Do you use Vagifem pessaries for dryness ? Use a vibrator on yourself ? Any pain ?