I am just so so unhappy but I can't leave

[Iwanttoleave4]

Having a quick cry in bed while 'D'H is having a shower. I don't know why I post because there's nothing I can do, but I am just so unhappy. Every day H finds something to be upset about, then he starts going quiet on me, being snappy, nothing I do is good enough...and when I ask what is wrong, he just says nothing all good, but keeps ignoring me and throwing snide comments. Half of the time I don't even know why he is upset with me. We have a baby. I do everything I can to keep the peace but nothing is good enough.
He comes from a culture where a woman can't just leave. He's told me that a woman would never be allowed to leave. I can't risk telling him I want to leave. I don't trust authorities to keep me safe. My only wish is a life with my baby without him in it.

His culture isn’t particularly relevant. What matters most are the laws where you live. If you are in the UK, there is a path out.

make sure you are using private or incognito mode when you are on mumsnet or searching anything about leaving.

Sorry if I wasn’t explicit. You never tell a controlling or violent man you want to leave. One day he comes home and you and the child are just gone. He should have no idea it is coming.

the divorce happens while you are somewhere safe after you are gone.

Make your plans to leave, say nothing to yr H, nothing at all - no clue. ‘Ponderingwindow’ post above says it all. Plan and go. Good luck.

If you are in the UK, there is always a way out.

First, make sure your communication is secure. ALWAYS delete your browsing history, do not click 'Stay logged in' on anything.

On any social media site, have two user names, one that is bland and you could show him if he insisted, and the real one you use.

Next, wait until he is out and then contact Woman's Aid. Ask for their advice and help. Work with them to form a plan. It may take months but even making a plan will make you feel stronger.

Do not trust anyone in his family or community.

Remember to delete your call history.

It took me eight months to leave but I managed it without family support. Don't give up hope xx

Has he threatened you if you leave?

Don’t tell him you want to leave
Get your ducks in a row and go

i did this

my life is incredible

If you need help to leave safely please contact Women's Aid for advice and support.

If you are in the UK there are laws here.

Also, make sure he does not find this thread. Go incognito to protect yourself.

Call womans aid if you are in the UK. But dont use your phone or laptop, or any shared devices to look this up. Go to the library instead.

You don’t tell him. You make a plan and just go.

Can I get confidential advice from Womens Aid? I read on here that someone talked to Women’s Aid and because they had a child, WA got SS involved and SS wanted to talk to the husband. If this happens and SS contacts us then he will know what’s going on.