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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

my husband ex's drama queen

9 replies

housewif3 · 02/05/2025 03:38

I know my husband for almost 8 years now. We been married for 2 years now and having long distance relationship for almost 6 years before marriage.
Husband previous relationship have one boy and he is adorable.
Thing is, husband ex's, let call her Jo always demanding and using the boy to make my husband feel guilty not to do or have to do even thought its not logic.
Let me give you the situation :

There a was party event in a place A. This is not only one time they been there, but like hundred time. She always asking my husband to teach her drive to the place each time. She is almost 50's now, does it make sense? I did once with them during the driving lesson and i heard she said "oh it's here" "let do it one more". I was like.... you go there and pass the area like almost everyday still need driving lesson from home to the place? does it make sense?

Not only party, school, therapist and what ever it is. But it seem fine when she go shopping, wander around even until out of the city.

When the car broke down, call my husband to help, my husband not mechanic, and she know a mechanic why call my husband. When husband go see her and told her to call mechanic she get mad said my husband is useless.

There one time, she come to my husband house while i was not there and luckily i was on phone with husband. She come to the house make herself coffee and telling husband, go on with you chat i will waiting. I heard her and asked husband to put me on loud speaker and she is angry and yell to my husband telling him bad person and not responsible dad.

As far as i know, my husband working his best to do co parenting and he never hide anything to me. We had transparent relationship and i know about their past before we marriage.

She always insulted my husband and sometime he just ignore it just to making sure he able to see the son.

She always said to my husband you didn't care about their son and always put your girl (me his wife) first which is so opposite. My husband and i always put the child first in any decision we made.

For her, one good thing you do, it's all gone when u make one mistake/refuse/not helping her.

OP posts:
cryinglaughing · 02/05/2025 03:44

What are you asking?
Or is it just a post to moan about your husband's ex?

BlondiePortz · 02/05/2025 05:03

OK and do you think he is a fairground prize? Do you like the 'game' what are you actually getting out for this other than competing with her and why on earth would any man (or woman if this was reversed) really be worth it

And poor children! Again

VanillaVein · 02/05/2025 05:56

"the boy"
"the son"
"the child"

balloonraces · 02/05/2025 06:08

VanillaVein · 02/05/2025 05:56

"the boy"
"the son"
"the child"

I think op is from another country by the way it’s written, so I don’t think it’s her being rude, just a language thing

TurtlesDoNotPetsMake · 02/05/2025 06:14

How old is your step son?

FumbDucker · 02/05/2025 06:18

8 years together - 6 years long distance - 2 years married….

Any chance a good part of that long distance relationship was when he was still with his ex wife? That would explain her behaviour now…

DenholmElliot11 · 02/05/2025 06:37

Have you got some nice things planned to do this bank holiday week-end OP?

lonelyplanetmum · 02/05/2025 06:49

I think the consensus on the other thread is that if there is over reliance on an ex depends on frequency and if the tasks are mainly to do with the joint DC. If they are, that’s reasonable but other general tasks less so. How often do the requests for help happen? The car breakdown sounds like a one off but help navigating is a bit odd.
So it’s not usual for an ex to rely completely on her ex-husband to do jobs that are part of general household responsibilities, but tasks related to the DC are ok. Repeated help navigating to a place she knows, when she could use google maps etc , may be an issue of not having boundaries.

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