A bit of a what should I do now
DCs are 9,6 and 2. I left EX (their dad) 18 months ago.
He had just turned into a man I didn't recognise. We met at university and he was kind, considerate, and our values aligned. During COVID he started to change it started with getting into COVID conspiracy theories and anti-vax stuff. This slowly progressed into more conspiracy theories and then into all this sexist you can't trust women and they need to be chained to the kitchen stuff.
When I gave birth to the youngest things came to a head. The youngest was born with a genetic condition. The older two also have other additional needs. He insisted that we get a paternity test on the youngest cause he couldn't possibly be the father. When it confirmed that he was he insisted it was false and that I must have done something or it must be my fault. I eventaully left 6 months later.
He has made everything SO difficult. He won't pay CMS, initially threatened to go for 50/50 just so he wouldn't have to pay. He has now gone "self-employed" and pays £10 a week. He sees the DCs every other Sunday .
DC2 has never really liked going, DC3 isn't really bothered either way at this point. DC1 used to love seeing her dad but gradually this has changed. DC1 is deaf she has an implant, she is learning to sign and she can read lips but not very well.
When she was diagnosed EX and I both started learning to sign. DC2 and DC3 have picked some up too.
Recently she has been coming home saying that her dad has stopped signing anymore and just talks to her but if shes had to take her implant out she can't always understand him. But he wont sign even when she asks.
Last Sunday they went with him to the park and she climbed on one slide and DC2 was on another climbing frame and they were signing to each other and ex started shouting at them to stop and when they asked why he said he didn't want anyone to see them doing it. That people would think they were weird and it was embarrassing. DC1 started to cry and he told her to stop creating a scene and that this was my fault because I tell them to be themselves but in the real world everyone feels sorry for him cause his kids are odd.
Both DCs then cried so he put them in the car and drove them to my house and then left without a word. So all this information had come from the DCs though they are telling similar stories and I believe them.
DCs are all now saying they don't want to go. We have no court order in place and I don't want to force them. I've tried texting EX to ask to talk about it but hes ignored every message (which is normal for him) but they are due to go this weekend and he will turn up as normal.
He will be upset not cause the DCS are upset but because he always takes the DCs to his family to show off what s good dad he is and he won't want to explain to them why his DCs aren't with him.
I don't want the DCs to go but this will kick off and I really can't afford to go to court and if we do he'll charm his way into getting what he wants or find some loophole like he always does.