What to do

[DeeDee20]

Hi, my partner of 10 years lies to me about money. It’s obvious he must be in debt from the car he bought and he changes jobs all the time. I don’t trust him. This is the second late mortage payment he has made. We have a joint mortgage, does anyone know how this will effect me please? We’ve had a mortgage for 5 years together and no problems until now. Thank you

What do you mean he made a mortgage payment late? Is he the one who pays your joint mortgage?

Seems like you don’t have a joint account? I think most couples have a joint account with perhaps their own accounts too, where the mortgage/bills come out of the joint account. Either way you need more visibility of finances which affect you (like your home!).

if you continue to default on your mortgage, ultimately they will move to seize the asset.

Sorry I didn’t explain properly. We have a joint bank account all bills and mortage comes out of. I’m part time due to having a baby. we agreed he would pay a little bit more to everything as he works full time.
We then keep the rest of our own money for ourselves in seperate accounts. He’s not paying his share at all to the joint to even cover the mortgage or bills because he’s so bad with money. I’m worried that I’m going to be a bad credit score because of his immaturity.

Okay so does this mean then that your mortgage payments have not been paid at all? Have they been paid late, if so how late? Are the other bills also paid or missed? You will have the late/missed payments on your credit file for any joint ones, so the mortgage, and that does massively impact your credit score.

The first payment was 10 days late, this second payment has been a day late.
yes, all bills are in our name.
can I call the bank and explain that it’s not me, or I guess they don’t see it like that.
i can’t believe after 10 years together, a child he would do this. I’ve never had any debt, taken a loan and been in over charge. I don’t live beyond my means like him and now I’m going to get a bad credit score.
so if I want to leave would I be able to get another mortgage or will this go against me?

You can join this and get a free credit report. It will tell you if your mortgage payments are late and what the impact on your score is: https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/creditclub/

But you really need to have a word with him about making sure his payment reaches the joint account before the bills and mortgage come out.

Having a joint account with someone links your credit to their credit. So yes, these bad decisions he’s making are affecting your credit, unfortunately.

If you've no idea where his money is going, then he probably has a secret, hidden addiction of some kind. Gambling, coke, prostitutes. You're joint and severally liable for the mortgage, that bank won't care who hasn't paid what share, in their eye's your both responsible and if he carries on he'll take you down with him, trashing both your credit records in the process.

Thank you all. I think he had some debt before and has bought 2 cars in the last 5 years when I know for sure he can’t afford them. One was 30k. I suspect he barely paying the interest on the loans back. He also took out a big life insurance. It’s just so stupid. We have nursery to pay for too and ever increasing bills like everyone else.
hurtful to know he doesn’t care about dragging me down too. He doesn’t earn enough to have these cars and their keep.
sorry. I’m just ranting now. Thank you

And now I just found he has taken £100 of my money I had hidden in drawer without asking. I just confronted him and he said he didn’t ask because it would cause an argument. I can’t believe this

Unfortunately this is your debt if it’s a joint mortgage OP, you are just as responsible for those payments as he is in the eyes of the lender and so late payments will impact both of you. The only way around it is to prevent any more late payments which may mean you need to work full time so that you can keep up the payments, end the relationship, and sell the house so you can get out of the mortgage.

If you stay with him and you continue to have late payments then by the time you do leave you’re going to find it very difficult to get pass a credit check to rent elsewhere nevermind get a mortgage.

This is so bad. If I work full time that means little one will need to be in nursery more. Si more money on that. I’ve tried to leave a few times but he point blank refuses to go to mediation or sell the house.
I spoke to a mediator myself and she advised me to stay until little one goes to school and I have enough money to leave and get my own place. That’s 2026!
I feel sick he has now taken money from me behind my back