Not sure what to make of this…

[Pondeering]

Met a guy through friends a while ago. Not been on any actual dates but meet ups always end up with with us taking into the early hours. Went out a few night ago, he says he wants to meet again but the weird thing is no texts between meet ups apart from factual stuff , ie time to meet. Noting after meeting saying he had a nice time,etc, no how was your day.
Should I try to instigate or will I look desperate?!

Bump

When you meet is it for a drink, meal or an activity? You say conversation flows so that's a very good sign. If you like him and want things to progress there's no reason why you shouldn't instigate conversation in between dates as well. Maybe next time you meet up ask him what he's looking for, then at least you know!

I don't think I would bother with him. It doesn't sound very promising.

@Seaoftroubles it’s drinks or food. I did message after our last meeting thanking him for a good evening but no reply, However he had said earlier in the evening he’d like to meet again. Think best I leave it and see if he makes contact…

No reply?! How rude.

@Pondeering yes I agree. Never experienced that before!

Have you kissed him? If you haven't then I'd either try to move this forward or give up. He might see your meet ups as friends hanging out and only want that.

@ClickClickety we did a few months the ago after a drunken night out. He got very embarrassed as he’d had too much drink so things couldn’t “progress”. Nothing since then - it’s actually quite awkward when we leave each other as neither of us seems to know what to do!

It's rude not to reply to someone after they said they had a nice time seeing you.
Whether it's platonic or a potential sexual situation.
I'd just leave it tbh. If they CBA to even say 'yeah, it was great, see you soon' then they'll be a shite partner.

Your update isn’t making it sound great…

can you imagine being in a relationship with him in the future where he just does not communicate with you at all, like you seem to accept him doing now for the time you have known him. He is unlikely to change his communication tactics so this would be a huge insight into who he is as an individual.

Also, could it be that he is socially awkward? How does he communicate with his friends you met him through? Is he like that with them too? or just you?

Would ask as this just sounds off.

@Anyonefoundmysparesock
would definitely not want this in a relationship! Briny need to text all the time but a little communication between meet ups is good and at least a reply!!
i don’t know how he communicates with friends in between seeing each other. Definitely doesn’t come across as socially awkward!

Still no reply from him! As some of you have said - it’s just rude!!

I’m a bit confused by your OP. You say you haven’t been on dates just meet ups. What does that mean? That you’re meeting up with other friends? Bumping into each other? Could he just see you as a friend?

@Gymbunny2025 weve done both . Sometimes with friends sometime just 2 of us.

Why do you say you haven’t been on dates? If just the 2 of you?

@Gymbunny2025 ?? Men and women do sometimes go out without it being a date!

Ha ha I get that. So you mean you are friends? But you want more? I just wasn’t quite sure as you also mentioned him not messaging between meets (like you were dating)

@Gymbunny2025 I’m not sure what we are are really! Still no reply to my text though..

Are you sure he’s received it? Wrong number / lost his phone / doesnt like texting perhaps due to dyslexia etc

Id text him one more time (I hate hanging on and have no patience) and say I texted you on Sunday but no reply, just checking I’ve got the right number and youre getting my messages?

If no reply and you know him through friends you couod check with them to see if they’ve heard from him or he’s lost his phone.

I wonder though If he’s in a relationship with someone else and guilt meant he couldn’t perform and that’s why he can’t text. Would the mutual friends know/tell you?

If he’s just not a texter or socially awkward then that’s not good. If it’s just he has no manners then that’s worse. Unless the phone is lost it’s not looking good.

@RentalWoesNotFun i can see he’s received it and it’s definitely the right number as we’ve texted before! He’s been online since too.

Move on - that’s incredibly rude

@ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly I agree! I’ve never experienced this before even from online dating!

my messages is still unread!!

Bonkers!