Are choirs social singing a good place to make friends or find a romantic date?

[rogloc]

A single male friend likes singing and I suggested he make friends and possible romantic dates at a choir too. My thinking is because there seems a lot more women at the one I used to go to. Your thoughts?

It will vary a lot per choir. Several that I've been in over the years have only a very short break at half time (less than 10 mins) and then at the end, everyone shoots off home. Hard to have enough time interacting to get to the romantic date stage, he could try out a choir for a few rehearsals and see what he makes of it,

I think it's a brilliant idea. Igo to a choir and we have a social secretary so there are lots of meet ups outside of choir practice. There are only 3 men in our choir. How old is he though as there are only a few younger people. Most are 50s/60s.

Each choir will be different.

However, just because a particular choir doesn't have any 'socials' it doesn't mean people wouldn't come if he offered to arrange a few things.

Toast Master strikes me as a good place to meet a single guy - there's limited places where men and women successfully mix over hobbies and this is one I would say.

I have friends that met at an Outdoor Club - and they know lots of couples who did the same. I’m also in a choir - you’d have to go to the social events to manage any kind of meeting the opposite sex. Everyone sits in their voice parts at rehearsals.
Amateur dramatics maybe?

Sure . If you want to date a nerd.🤪

My husband used to sing in an auditioned choir and lots of the younger members used to go to the pub afterwards.

I'd say yes - every choir I've been to men are like gold dust for Alto roles, so he will be likely a minority! He needs to have courage to talk to people though if he wants to date...if he scurries off a lot of women may just assume he is married.

He should give it a go - nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Yes, and no. Choose your choir carefully. I sang in one for a few years and there was barely a straight man in the house. My then DH sang in it - he still does - and even he turned out to be gay😆But that was quite a high falutin' group in London. The choir that's attached to my orchestra seems to be the opposite way - I can tell from the lack of Liberty bowties... If you get it right, I think you'd do well.

As for the "nerds" comment above, I'd ignore that completely. A tiny proportion of the amateur classical music scene is painfully nerdy - the rest is absolutely normal and we talk about completely normal/non-music-related things in the breaks. It's just a hobby like any other - somewhere to learn and polish skills. Most choirs only expect you to be able to hold a note - they don't expect you to be trained.

Men are always in the minority with the choir I sing with so am sure your friend would be very welcome. Some of us do socialise outside of choir activities too. Not sure how it would work for meeting someone romantically though: although never say never.

I was at a chiral concert last night and fell into conversation with an incredibly attractive thirtysomething member of a madrigals group in the queue for the car park machine afterwards. I’m married, but he was devastating. Beautiful speaking voice. And his choir was very good.

Choirs (and orchestras) tend to get a very short 10-15 min break during a long and protracted rehearsal every week.

IME this is not where friendships are forged. It's too short. It's in the socials outside of rehearsal time that this happens.

Some organisations have a lot of appetite for socialising outside rehearsals and others don't. It's entirely dependent on the individual org.

He has a male voice so will be very welcome regardless! Choirs are crying out for men usually.

I think you have to be on the committee or go to all the socials to make friends and certainly to get anything romantic. Choir rehearsals are just about chatting to the person next to you in the gaps. I've made "choir friends" over the years in various groups but not really people who I see outside rehearsals.

It's mixed but very segregated. I don't really even talk to the altos, let alone the men.

There you go. I always thought that madrigals were on the super nerdy end of things, but I'm an orchestral musician who gave up singing a long time ago. In short, what do I know?

I would probably have agreed with you — maybe childhood memories of the King’s Singers on The Good Old Days in bow ties!

This is very true actually, I’m in 2 choirs. We do quite a lot of gigs though , lots of opportunity to make friends, plus we have dedicated social events.
I’m always hoping I’ll meet a nice man at choir, and indeed I have,but they usually turn out to have a wife in the soprano section 🤨

My 2 best friends started out as choir friends ❤️

I'm in a community choir (very relaxed, no audition) and others are right that there's not much chance to chat at standard rehearsals, but we have socials about once a month where we get together for a drink. We have a range of ages, from 20s to 70s. Men still definitely in the minority

My choir has created at least two marriages that I know of. We have a 20 minute break and a regular pub visit after each rehearsal, plus other social events like quizzes and guided walks.

I was in a choir and we got a new conductor.
Reader, I married him!
So I definitely recommend singing in a choir. I've known quite a few relationships and marriages happen in choirs I've known over the years.

If he’s a good singer then yes!

Yes I think he will have some opportunities in choirs. But I think the odds are way better with musicals or drama because they don’t separate sections so more chance to mingle.

An unintelligent response.

Agree with this. He should try musical!