AI is like a third person in my marriage.

[Meanyheads]

My husband and i have been dealing with betrayal trauma and porn/sex addiction issue for 1.5 years now. I also uncovered a huge bank of lies and secrets. Things felt better and then wack-o-mole!! another issue comes up. The new one is AI. He fake wrote me several handwritten letters that he AI generated. Then I figured out he has over-analized writings I have given him by running my letters to him through AI. I'm feeling like AI is his new emotional affair.

The issue is the deception and lies. By handwriting it, he tried to deceive me. That's the problem. Now I don't trust anything he writes me and I refuse to give him anything I write because he puts my writing through AI and analyzes it. I hate what AI has done to my husband.

Can you tell us why he is still your husband?

I’d let this one go.

Get a better man.

Other men are available.

Because I don't cut and run. If he is working on being better I am going to support that. It hasn't been easy. If had a mental illness that made me do things that were detrimental to our relationship BUT I was actively working on getting better, I would expect my husband to support me.

Well, best of luck with that. Because you’re going to need it.

This is becoming increasingly popular people using AI as therapy you'd be better to leave him

The AI is giving him exactly what he was seeking from porn/sex addiction. Instant gratification. People often end up moving through different addictions as their brain is desperately seeking the dopamine hit they get from whatever is the flavour of the month.

It’s not the AI that’s the issue, it’s just a replacement substance. You say he’s working on his issues, is he in therapy?

I think it's the husband that is the issue here, not the AI

This

I hate what Ai has done for my husband

AI has done nothing. This is all your husband.

you say he is trying to get better but how? What is he doing? Is he really trying? Doesn’t sound like it.

Ah yes, you can “save him” by working on his terrible additions and flaws at the expense of your own sanity. Life is too short for this BS. LTB.

Yes. He's in therapy with a CSAT and shes a good qualified therapist. We also have a good couples therapist. Couples therapist - I'm going to bring it up at our next mtg. I agree, it's the next thing, hence the wack-o-mole comment.

It’s easy to attend therapy once or twice a week. It’s only difficult if you actually engage and put the work emotional effort in. Is he doing that? Doesn’t sound like it……

It sounds like you've had a lot to deal with in your relationship, and I'm not undermining anything that you've worked through in the past. But I'm sorry, I don't fully understand what the issue is with AI or why others are so up in arms over it? It sounds like he's using it as a tool to help better communicate with you and understand what you've written to him. I can't help but see that as a positive thing.

Where is he trying....?

I'm not here to justify me staying or what work he is doing but it seems like you all need that info, so here goes.
1.5 years ago he confessed hidden porn use. Porn use was a boundary of mine from our inception. After that loads of secrets and lies surfaced. He got a CSAT therapist immediately, does 12 step mtgs daily, has an active men's group weekly, deep deep dive in family of origin therapy, we do daily FANOS, I am in therapy as well, he has been porn sober since confessing and active recovery work this entire 1.5 years. So yes, he is doing the work. And yes, I plan on staying not to "save" him but because I am committed to him IF he is actively working on his stuff and us.

Maybe I'm just venting. I just don't like him relying on AI for relationship communication stuff. He does loads of great research via AI on his recovery but I bristle at him using AI for communication or analyzing my communications.