Do you believe in 'signs'? The weirdest thing happened today

[EllaPaella1989]

NC. This evening I was out for a meal and drinks with the guy I'm dating. We met through OLD and both deleted our accounts a few months later.

Over time as we've got to know one another I've probed a bit about his past relationships, how they've ended and why.

He doesn't seem to be on good terms with any of them. It's always the women wanting out of the relationship and he has let slip a few things that indicate he had/has a tendency to be insecure.

His longest relationship lasted just over a year and he said the mother of that woman called him a narcissist.

I'd kept an open mind until then as I've grown quite fond of him and we have a great time together, I just couldn't shake an uneasy feeling after hearing about the narcissist comment.

Anyway.

After leaving a bar this evening we were walking down the road. My phone was in my handbag, locked as far as I was aware, I hadn't looked at it in over an hour and definitely wasn't using YouTube in the run up.

A video was blasting out. Confused, I look at the screen and it's this video:

"He was an evil narcissist" domestic violence horror story

I've attached a screenshot but it's pending review atm.

I've never watched that video before and I'm not subscribed to the channel. I took a screenshot as my mind instantly went back to that conversation.

I do sometimes watch true crime videos in general so it might be algorithm related but even so.. isn't that weird?

My gut is telling me it's a sign to cut my losses and walk away from this one.

What do you think? A sign or random coincidence?

I'm not very 'woo' person in general but I'm definitely feeling a bit spooked!

Honestly, I'd feel spooked by that.

I think the real question is listening to your gut. Give yourself a bit of space from them and see how you feel.

i usually have my gut guide my thoughts some times its a mix, some times its correct, some times its oh pickles

Don't phones listen in to you, so maybe if you were talking about it, it brought it up?

That said, I'd 100% be creeper out and wonder if it were a sign too!

I think his track record and the narcissist comment are red flags in themselves. Your microphone may have picked up the word ‘narcissist’ and guided you to the video but I would advise running for the hills..

I live my life by my gut instinct and it’s never let me down x

No such things as ‘signs’ obviously but there are definitely gut feelings that you can’t articulate. I’d be very careful.

Have you read "The Gift of Fear", if not, you really should.

Agree with a PP that your microphone picks up what you are talking about and plays related ads etc.

I would take it as a sign, though!

I don't think it's a woo thing

BUT the fact that your mind made the instant connection between the video and him is a sign to yourself.

If he is a narc he will be on his absolute best behaviour at the moment too.

I would definitely take it as a sign and start thinking about ending the relationship.

He doesn't sound like a good prospect. Trust your gut and dump this one.

It doesn’t matter if signs are real or if you believe in such things. What matters is you have enough evidence that he is a wrong un or you wouldn’t be questioning this. Don’t dismiss your true thoughts because you like him. You are seeing the real him but ignoring it. Bet he’s always the victim, always wronged in some way, been through lots of tough times…. Classic narcissistic behaviour.

Phones do not listen to you so it's not that. Have you googled anything to do with narcissism or mentioned it to someone else who may have looked it up. Google and tictok in particular will use your internet activity and sometimes that of other people in your vicinity to drive recommendations and advertising. Otherwise it's probably a coincidence as I watch a fair few true crime videos too and it wouldn't be unusual to see that as the subject in a video

https://uk.norton.com/blog/how-to/is-my-phone-listening-to-me?srsltid=AfmBOoqjtoWst30KfKMwkHB1F7H0bEz3CqsQME2nK8gY-LjJNICby9hR

They do. How else does voice activation work??

They absolutely do!

Phones do listen. Sometimes mine knows what I’m thinking… even if it hasn’t been said out loud!!

How was it on YouTube? It had been locked? He couldn’t have been playing with your phone or anything when you were in the loo or something… it’s just so weird that it came out of nowhere!!?

Nothing is worth a relationship with a narcissist. If you really feel he could be one.. don’t risk it. You’ll have a sense.

I was talking to a relative outside the back door yesterday about foraging mushrooms (don't ask). An hour later I was scrolling through Facebook and a post for a mushroom foraging group comes up. Never seen it before, hadn't googled mushroom foraging.
It's not woo, it's your phone. It's listening to you.
Nevertheless I'd take it as a very clear sign🤣
Trust your gut on this one.

They don't, really, voice activation is a completely different kettle of fish. They are not using what they hear for the purposes mentioned above, the magic of showing you what you are thinking happens in different ways. The way they store your voice data is equally sinister but as I say it's a different thing. Really don't want to derail this thread, sorry.

Your phone is listening to you.

If you have a conversation like that again you can bring up what you learned from past relationships/breakups, and see if he has done any growing or if he is blaming everyone else.

Phones do listen to us!
I once saw a poster for a lost kitten, mentioned it to my husband- next thing I know, I kept getting Facebook adverts for kittens for the next few weeks!
This type of thing happens all the time. Whatever I’m talking about, it picks up on a key word and the algorithm tailors content to it.

It’s just your algorithm but you don’t sound happy with this guy so I would get shot of him

trust your gut. Honestly I have sometimes ignored the gut feeling and given people benefit of doubt and turns out that 99% of the time my gut was right.

Also phones do listen. try saying hey siri or ok google and they respond. Even if you turn the feature off, it only stops it from responding to you, it still listens.

I was once talking to someone about a makeup goodie bag service but never had googled it or clicked on any links about it. I started getting ads about them on the insta app. Deleted both FB and insta straight after that.

It doesn't matter whether phones listen to you (they do!) The point is that this particular video meant something to you.

If I opened my phone and it happened to start playing something about an abusive narcissist, I wouldn't pay the slightest attention because I'm not married to one.

The fact it triggered something in you shows you already have subconscious concerns. Listen to them!

Everyone calls someone they know a narcissist on mumsnet. I think they mean selfish or self centred really.
Definitely not a sign but it does appear as though you're looking for an out, so give yourself permission to end it, he doesn't seem the one for you.

Even the algorithm is trying to protect you from this relationship! AI has its uses! Def get out OP you really don’t need to get involved with a narc.