Don't mind me, I'm just having a whine cos I'm sick of everything being so hard at the moment. I just wish I could get to a place where I could feel like my head says I should.
Yes my DH has recently left me, but I know deep down that it will be for the best in the end, so why do I feel so crap about it.
Last weekend he had DS (5), and they spent time with a girl from work (she and DH have been keeping eachother company as friends apparently. Yeah right), and now DS just won't shut up about her. I should be glad that DS had a good time, and it shouldn't matter about this girl whatever their relationship is, cos it doesn't affect where we are at. But it does.
I end up feeling like he's off out enjoying himself, with someone for company, who is obviously so fantastic that ds is smitten with her, and I'm stuck here on my own, having to get a new job with more hours so I can try and keep the house, and keep things on an even keel for DD (10) who is very sad about our split.
She's with him tonight and they've been shopping and eaten out, going to see a film tomorrow and generally having a fine old time. So I should be glad that she is having quality time with him cos god knows that was rare enough before he left, but I feel it is going to set the scene for the future, - go to see Daddy and have an amazing time, and then come home to boring old mum who makes us do homework and tidy rooms.
Long term I know I will be fine, but there's so much to sort out to get there that I don't know where to start and right now that better time ahead seems out of reach.
And I can't even open that wine in the fridge cos I have a streaming cold.