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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just want a vent…

8 replies

HermioneRuby1 · 27/04/2025 21:32

DH been out all day drinking and came home in a playful mood, play fighting with kids and all was ok. I got in the shower after making Sunday dinner and as I’m getting out he’s playfully pulling on my dressing gown. I laughed it was a bit of fun, he wouldn’t let go laying on the bed in bedroom and hanging onto me with it as I tried to break free. I asked him to stop it now and he let go then grabbed it again and I said stop, then was shouting stop it’s not funny anymore, eventually I broke free and my eldest came out of her room and said she doesn’t like it Dad stop.
He came to me and said what did I do? I said I know it was funny at first but then its wasn’t and I didn’t like it and asked you to stop. He’s stormed off not and gone to bed angry at me clearly thinks I’ve made a big deal out of nothing.
I’ve left him to it but I’m going to be made to feel like I’m out of order, a bore, narkey etc basicaly in the wrong and caused what will be another row. Goodness knows if he’ll be ok with me in the morning or not!

OP posts:
Comtesse · 27/04/2025 21:48

Does he do this sort of thing often? Sounds a bit shit tbh. In earshot of your kids too. Never mind how he’ll react tomorrow - how about what you think?

Pumpkinpie1 · 27/04/2025 21:54

Wait until tomorrow and talk to him.
His behaviour was not acceptable. To let your Dd think it’s an acceptable way to behave is sending her bad messages about relationships and consent . Hopefully he will see that when he’s sober

Maitri108 · 27/04/2025 21:56

He sounds like he's having drunken mood swings. I would ignore him and discuss it in the morning when he's sober.

HermioneRuby1 · 27/04/2025 21:58

He can get a little much when he’s had a drink and can get annoying and be annoyed easily. I’m of course not perfect and sat here thinking did I over react? He was just having fun but of his fun was only funny for 2 minutes and then wasn’t. I don’t think it needed to escalate into anything else though once he stopped that was it for me.

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ManchesterLu · 27/04/2025 22:03

Nothing's more annoying - particularly when you're sober - than a drunk man who thinks he's funny.

I explained to DP once that I didn't like him when he was drunk. We just had to have that conversation.

HermioneRuby1 · 27/04/2025 22:04

@ManchesterLuthat’s part of it to be fair and I think I need to say that to him when he’s sober and calmer.

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DoNoTakeNo · 27/04/2025 22:06

No you didn’t overreact. You were clear that it was unacceptable but he didn’t listen. He was out of order. Thank goodness your son is decent & caring.
Please speak with your H so he realises what he has done & never, ever does it again.

(FWIW my ex used to behave similarly; he thought it was funny even though I very clearly didn’t. It was horrible.)

HermioneRuby1 · 27/04/2025 22:10

Thank you for helping me realise it wasn’t an overreaction on my part. I will definitely have an honest conversation with him when he’s ready.

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