Incest. TW

[Chipsahoy]

The current thread has triggered me a little I think. But I wondered if anyone had any insights or could relate.

Incest in my family started, as far as I’m aware, within my maternal grandfather’s family. He then became a sexual abuser of two of his daughters and niece. One of his daughter’s then sexually abused one of her children.

The daughter who was not abused had a son who then became a sexual abuser of his sibling (me).
While I understand why the grandfather and daughter may have been traumatised, so continued their behaviour, I don’t understand why the son of one of the daughter’s who wasn’t abused, became an abuser.
I am sure it is most complex with inter generational trauma and boundaries being blurred and messed up.

I guess it feels like something is fundamentally twisted or wrong about my birth family.

Not sure I am really looking for answers. Just ugh.

There are specialist counsellors and support lines for incest, OP. It should not be dealt with by a regular therapist. Have you considered speaking to someone?

I have had lots of therapy. Still having therapy now. But not really for the incest as it pales in comparison to the other csa I have suffered. Perhaps need to bring it up with my therapist soon. I guess I wondered how common for it to continue through families.

@Chipsahoy I am so so sorry to hear this. It’s awful. It may be because X, Y & Z. It doesn’t actually matter. You are a sexual abuse & incest survivor. You need support and care. There is support available and I really recommend counseling.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. My first thought was that he could have overheard something, or that his mother spoke to him about it in the context of things he mustn't do? Is it possible he was abused by his grandfather?

I do understand wanting to know why, and the trying to make some kind of sense of it.

Are you getting support for this?

So sorry you have been through so much trauma OP.

I think SA within families is more common that we like to think and it could well be a coincidence that these two males both became abusers.

There could be a chance that he was abused by either his great grandfather or Aunt I suppose but regardless what he did to you was wrong.

I hope the therapy helps and you find some peace with your past. Wishing you the best x