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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My situationship got in touch after a year

14 replies

Sweetrevenge91 · 27/04/2025 15:27

Just a lovely little tale of how sweet it felt to be able to tell my situationship of a year and a half that I had a boyfriend and that I didn't want to stay in touch with him.
We had been in a weird ambiguous situationship for a year and a half(ridiculous I know and totally my fault) he was also still on the dating apps during that time but would deny it and he updated his profile a few times.
I carried on dating other people as I knew I couldn't trust him and nothing would ever come of it. I couldn't quite get rid of him though as I did have feelings for him and the sex was incredible.
Anyway it lasted a year and a half and then fizzled out.
A couple of weeks ago, he got back in touch and asked to meet for a coffee, said he had realized now what he had and hadn't had the same connection with anyone else since ( he did admit he had been on a couple of dates)
I told him I had a boyfriend of a couple of months and that it wouldn't be right to meet him as he's an ex. He then said if anything ever went wrong between me and my boyfriend to get in touch as he would love a second chance and to do it properly this time. He said he was worried that I would have been already been taken but thought he would try anyway.
He then got in touch a few days later with a casual, how was your weekend text...I then had the great pleasure of texting him.back and telling him that I didn't want to stay in touch as it wasn't fair on my boyfriend and didn't feel right and then wished him well..He replied that he understood and wished me well and to reach out if anything changed.
Just wanted to share this story of me having the last laugh with someone who had the audacity to get back in touch after what he did. It felt so empowering.. it's like night and day compared to the person I'm with now who wanted me to be his girlfriend pretty quickly and came off the dating app and has been consistent and kind since we met a few months ago.

OP posts:
Sweetrevenge91 · 27/04/2025 15:28

I should have said , it also took him a year to get back in touch and he seriously thought I would be up for seeing him again 🙄

OP posts:
Newname25 · 27/04/2025 15:34

Love this!

SilviaSnuffleBum · 27/04/2025 15:47

He hasn't done anything wrong, other than not want to settle down with you.
You both dated other people whilst fucking or whatever. You've now found boyfriend material and things are going well.
End of.
🤦🏼‍♀️

Isthisusernamealreadytaken · 27/04/2025 16:08

SilviaSnuffleBum · 27/04/2025 15:47

He hasn't done anything wrong, other than not want to settle down with you.
You both dated other people whilst fucking or whatever. You've now found boyfriend material and things are going well.
End of.
🤦🏼‍♀️

OP never said he did anything wrong. 🤷
Sounds like he wanted to keep his options open and thought the grass was greener, it wasn't, his loss it seems. Sounds like Op found someone who doesn't want to risk losing her and can give her what she wants, good for her!

SilviaSnuffleBum · 27/04/2025 16:29

Isthisusernamealreadytaken · 27/04/2025 16:08

OP never said he did anything wrong. 🤷
Sounds like he wanted to keep his options open and thought the grass was greener, it wasn't, his loss it seems. Sounds like Op found someone who doesn't want to risk losing her and can give her what she wants, good for her!

OP said: "Just wanted to share this story of me having the last laugh with someone who had the audacity to get back in touch after what he did", thus clearly felt aggrieved.

MagicStarMama · 27/04/2025 16:30

They always crawl back.

Isthisusernamealreadytaken · 27/04/2025 16:35

SilviaSnuffleBum · 27/04/2025 16:29

OP said: "Just wanted to share this story of me having the last laugh with someone who had the audacity to get back in touch after what he did", thus clearly felt aggrieved.

Edited

Well I don't know about you, but I love a happy ending. 🤗

Sweetrevenge91 · 27/04/2025 16:39

@SilviaSnuffleBum I am saying that I have had the last laugh and it felt lovely to basically tell him to f#ck off in a nice way and that I was taken. He crawled back when he realized no one else was interested or he thought he could do better and couldn't. He has now had to walk away with his tail between his legs.
I don't know why you're being so strange about it, it's something I felt like sharing as I know a lot of women can get caught up in dead end situationships that can go on forever and I wanted to share a nice story about mine and how I've had a happy ending.
I also have a right to feel aggrieved at his audacity for returning a year later trying to chance his arm again when he totally messed up the first time.

OP posts:
SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 27/04/2025 17:55

If you didn't have another boyfriend by now, would you have hooked up again with your ex?

CiscoTS · 27/04/2025 18:41

A year is not really that long in the grand scheme of things. My ex came back after more than 2.5 years. Been together now 19 years.

Sometimes people just aren’t ready to settle when you are, and they just need a bit of time.

Glad you’re happy now though, and he seemed to take your rejection very maturely, so who knows, maybe he’s grown up!

Enjoy your lovely boyfriend.

Theoriginalmrscillianmurphy · 27/04/2025 19:03

Mine got in touch when he got engaged and then married.

I took screenshots and emailed them to his new wife

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 27/04/2025 21:41

Situationship. Such a stupid, non-sensical word.

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 28/04/2025 18:59

Theoriginalmrscillianmurphy · 27/04/2025 19:03

Mine got in touch when he got engaged and then married.

I took screenshots and emailed them to his new wife

Childish

Theoriginalmrscillianmurphy · 28/04/2025 19:41

@TheCountofMountingCrispBags 😂

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