What do you think the best thing to do is in this situation? I Will try to summarise it as best and briefly as I can. Sorry if it drags.
Longer than I thought it would be.
So , 8 yrs ago , after a holiday romance, I discovered I was pregnant ( not an ideal situation i know). At the time the father of my dd didn't want anything to do with us. He later changed his mind, I accepted and believed hed be there for her. Turns out he wasn't there for the first 18 months of her life but continued to get in touch with me. His talking style had me believing he would be there for her that's why I kept up communication, he'd say things but never do them.
After a while I received a call from the father of my childs parents who wanted to get to know their gd. I accepted and got to know them , they seemed ok and they became a part of childs life and loved her , though i felt grandmas love towards my dd was a bit unhealthy at times.
During this time , father of the child started seeing his dd but only when his parents had her at theirs and it was rarely and only when it suited him.
I also noticed slowly, weird behaviour from the grandma , to cut a very long series of events short , I found her manipulative, controlling, competitive, jealous, demanding of her gd time. Not listening to my requests and serious ones at that relating to health issue of dd. Any time the father of dd tried to make an effort she seemed to always be there interferening and telling me and him to keep away from eachother, that we didn't need to start communicating properly and it should remain as grandma having the child and father only seeing dd when she had her (maybe she had her reasons). I eventually just had enough of her and cut ties, she was causing me a lot of stress and it was affecting me and my dd.
So an aunty stepped in to still take dd to visit gp which went on a while but Aunty moved and this stopped. As a result my child has not seen any of them on father's side for roughly 18 months plus. The father has never made any effort to reach out to see dd , no phone calls , messages , vistis ..nothing. instead blaming me that he has not seen his dd "because I cut ties with his parents". The grandparents are blaming me because I went no contact with grandma . I honestly don't want to get involved with her again. , and have my child around a father who's never bothered his backside for her , only seeing her rarely and making excuses.
I have since suggested another arrangement where someone will help in the middle and dd can visit them through this trusted person. Grandparents have told me what I'm doing is not fair on daughter , I should forget everything and start letting them have dd again without this person in ths middle. The whole situation is confusing me.
Dd has expressed, only if I mention, that she wouldn't mind seeing gp again but otherwise never mentions them. Never mentions her father , unless I bring it up but says she doesn't care about her father. Feel stuck.