Advice about few things

[GreatPearlOrca]

Hi there, I’m currently in a relationship, but I had a stroke about 2 years ago and recovered pretty well , but I’ve been feeling abit strange over couple days and starting to think I maybe be pregnant, i feel so terrified as I have been very careful and if I am it wasn’t planned , I’m scared that a stroke will happen again, and if I am I don’t know what to do I feel very low about it as I don’t know what to expect , if it will be okay for me, will I need an abortion which I have been strongly against my whole life as the thought of that makes me upset, I feel I can’t speak to anyone about it as I feel they will judge me because of me having a stroke etc I’m afraid of what will be says, my partner wasn’t well for a while too but is getting better and I don’t know wether to tell him or not as he has a lot going on too with his side of the family , my sister just recently miscarried too and the thought of abortion makes me upset but the thought of pregnancy makes me emotional too as im scared of anything happening , as dont know what to do or think, any help or advice please would be greatly Appreciated

I would find out if you are actually pregnant first. If you are, get some medical advice.

Maybe do a pregnancy test first before you panic.

Yeah I was thinking of doing this on Monday, but do I do it alone? I also have an ultrasound on Tuesday to check my bladder is emptying properly as I’ve had a ew problems dont know what to do, feel my heads all over the place xx

Yeah I will maybe get a test tomorrow see what the outcome is , I just feel I’m having the symptoms and my period is late too but it was abit earlier last month but not had anything this month so far x

Aww I don’t have a heart condition , I already have 2 children

I thought you said you had a stroke?

Yeah had a stroke because of dissection in my neck , my heart all good as was checked over, stroke in back of brain, but I know where your coming from x

As long as the pregnancy won’t trigger another stroke or other health issues and you’re prepared and can rest enough/eat the right things and have assistance so you’re not pushing yourself you should be ok

Utter rubbish. My sibling had 2 perfectly healthy children who are now both healthy adults, despite my sibling having a congenital heart condition.

I said if they could pass it on, like other genetic conditions. And being related to you, there was a chance you could have had the issue as well and it’s all down to chance. It would be devastating to have a child with a heart issue, devastating for the child the most, and their loved ones

Well, it depends on how you look at it. Any child can be born with a complex health condition. Both my parents were very young and healthy but my sibling was born with a congenital heart condition anyway. My sibling could’ve had no children for fear of them having the same issue. My friend had a very premature baby who’s been left with cerebral palsy and will never walk. Both She and her husband were super fit healthy people. If having a child will be a grave risk to op that’s a different matter and of course she needs to seek medical advice.

I did a test the morning and it’s come back positive, so my think was right I think, this has me even more overthinking etc feel so alone

Can you talk to your partner? Would you like to have a baby? What's worrrying you about the situation?

I’m scared about having baby incase anything was to happen to me myself and I know I will have to speak to doctor etc my partner is going through a lot at the moment too and I’m scared of what he will say and I’m sure he will maybe not want it, or maybe tell people as he can’t seem to keep anything to himself at the moment, and the thought of abortion of any kind upsets me so much, I just don’t know what a mess to get into, I have a bladder ultra sound on Tuesday I will probably need to tell them too as not sure if I can still go ahead with this, my doctor had did urine test on 24th march too, I got smear test too and an examination down there too because I have a leaky bladder, she put me on medication to help with leakage and put me on blood pressure medication too, i can’t keep on keeping things to myself I will make my self unwell , and when I spoke to pharmacy few weeks ago about protection she had made the comment saying you don’t want to get pregnant as getting pregnant won’t be good for you too so that worries me too,

Have you done a test yet? Until you know for certain that you’re pregnant, this is all hypothetical. No point stressing yourself out if you’re not even pregnant. Stress is the worst thing for people who’ve had strokes. Relax. Take a test. If it’s positive, call your doctor and get support to decide what’s going to happen next. Plenty of people have babies who have chronic health conditions. That’s why we have specialised maternity care. Even if you are pregnant, the best thing you can do is speak to the medical professionals and do what’s right for you.

Hi yeah did test and it’s come back positive, your message has made me a little at ease I will try get an appointment tomorrow and discuss things further take things from there, I just feel I can’t speak to my partner at the moment about it as I just feel abit scared of what he will say or if he will want this or not and at this present moment I’m unsure what I want too and feel abit upset about it but not sure why, maybe just with everything going on and was unexpected etc

Well, that’s good that you now know. You don’t need to speak to your partner yet. I think you’d be best to see the doctor and ask to speak with maternity services to get an idea of what support they would put in place to make sure you can have a healthy pregnancy and birth. I’d imagine you’d be classed as a high risk pregnancy due to your health history but as I said, plenty of pregnancies are high risk and are properly monitored and produce successful and safe outcomes. Women with all sorts of complex health issues have healthy babies. It’s ok to feel overwhelmed and upset at this point because you weren’t expecting it and you have understandable concerns. You have plenty of time to get the right medical support and make your decision about how to go forward. You’ve mentioned a few times that abortion isn’t something you would want to do and that’s ok. If that’s not right for you, then the maternity team will closely monitor you to make sure that you can progress with your pregnancy safely. Try and keep your stress levels down. Self care and relaxation is absolutely paramount. Do let us know how you get on.

Thank you so much for ur support and advice it’s helped me abit , I will just feel abit guilty if had an abortion but I know once I speak to doctor etc and take it from there and see what is what and then have a think and see what I’m going to do thanks for ur advice and will keep you updated feel a little be at ease that I’ve spoken out about it x

Most important thing is making a doctors appointment tomorrow. You need to know what the health implications would be for you to continue with the pregnancy and if it is even viable to do so. Regardless of how you feel about abortions, you already have two children and if the pregnancy could cause your health to decline or have an even bigger risk, you can't take it. Marie Stopps can help you with counselling if you need it before any definitive decision.

I personally would speak to your partner as he needs to support you either way and you need to see how he feels about a potential baby. Tell him you can't tell anyone until youve spoke with the Doctor.

How are you for finances if you were to have a third baby, do you have space/time for it at home etc?

I have had a surgical abortion, at the time it was the right thing to do and 19 years on, I 100% made the correct decision and have no regrets. It was fairly straight forward and I wasn't in much pain at all after and felt okay mentally/emotionally because logically I knew it was the right decision.

Yeah with all the advice I’m getting today I’m starting to be abit more relaxed and yeah you are so right about whatever the decision that is made, it will be the right decision I think I’m thinking the way i am about everything cause I’m more in shock than anything , and feeling abit down and emotional, but speaking to doctor will help and will take it from there tomorrow x

Seen doctor today , she did 2 pregnancy tests both very positive, congratulated me and asked if I was okay with it, I explained to her my worries and she says she understand and told me to think of my self and don’t think about what others may say etc , gave me until 12th may to have a think about things and then see what I would like to do, she also gave me number for the abortion clinic, but says if I device yes she needs to make an urgent appointment with my consultant who will put things in place and talk me through things, I’ve spoken to my partner and he says he is fine with keeping the baby and will be fine if I didn’t want this too, but isn’t given me much more, just keeps saying it’s whatever I want , but I keep telling him it’s not just what I want and what is right for both of us, it makes the decision harder for me him saying it’s all down to me, I have so much going on in my head , but I need to remember I have time to think too, I’m not on a lot of medication too and doctor says it will be regular check up with blood pressure throughout the pregnancy I’m just at borderline , I need to make sure whatever the decision it needs to be the right one xxx

Can you get medical advice on the health implications for you, if you continue with the pregnancy? In other words, you need to know how a pregnancy will affect your chances of having another stroke.

Yeah I’m going to try get a number for my consultant to ask everything as was like that doctor never had the answers for me, and if all is good and I get the green light then I will have a think of going ahead with it x

I have everything crossed for you. 🤞