The consequences of going NC with a parent

[TheMallard]

If you’ve gone NC with a parent, how do you cope with the consequences as regards your siblings?

I’ve not seen or spoken to my father for nearly 2 years, and I’m not changing my mind on that. But as a result I see my only sibling, who gets on with him, much less and it makes me sad. How do you cope with that?

My brother & me didn't speak while parents were alive. He lived about 60 miles away & used to visit about every 3 months when I was expected to disappear & he would sit in my father's armchair acting entitled - even smoking in their house. My parents would sun around like Marsh Warblers looking after a Cookoo chick, getting him meals etc. Once he'd gone I'd have to pick up the result of them both exhausted. My mother was always very involved in politics (stood for parliament in 1980's & was a local councillor for many years) & Sunday mornings was her time to watch the news, Andrew Marr etc. I knew to leave her alone except to give her cups of tea, toast etc. However, on the few occasions that my brother bothered to phone, it was always on a Sunday morning during her pollical programmes & she would drop everything in order to take his call.

My father died about 1 year before my mother. When it came to clearing their house my brother changed the locks & refused me access - he took everything of value & left me to deal with the rest.

At my mother's funeral my brother & his partner were isolated on one side of the church, the rest of the family with me on the other. So sad.

I haven't spoken to him since then.

What has caused you and your sibling to see les of each other over this? Do they not agree with you, do you complain about him to them? Or just drifted?

It’s very common to have this type of fall out.

i guess you ah e to make a point to keep contact with them

When I went non contact with my parents, my brother's response was essentially 'what took you so long to realise?' We've spoken more since that point than in the years before.
Prior to this I would send messages for birthday, Christmas etc and he would send similar. We would have lunch about once every 2 or 3 years if we were in the same country at the same time.
It sounds as though you had a better relationship with your sibling than I did. I think you try to keep communicating with them, they may well come to a realisation in time like I did.