Hey Mums!
Please be kind as this is my reality right now.
I have been with my partner about 4 years. Met him when i wasn’t looking for a relationship. Id not long came out of a bad one.
However, he got me. The first 1.5 year were amazing. We both still lived at home, then he came to live at my mums house with me. No issues all very happy!
We then unexpectedly caught pregnant to my now beautiful 2 year old. Children were not on my agenda any time soon but it happened. I already had savings for a house deposit but was in no rush to move until i got the pregnant.
Ended up buying a house about 30 minutes away from support system. At this point i just needed a home for my baby.
Slowly but surely, money issues started to creep in. He would either not wake up for work, finish early ect, Whilst i was working full time it wasn’t a huge deal but then I drop to SMP. Many situations were we are hugely struggling.
He decided the best way to combat this is to get a job working away. Already had words before buying a house that I wouldn’t move out of my mums if he intended to do this. But there we are, now responsible for a mortgage so no choice but for him to do this job.
So then he’s earning a good wage, guaranteed as he lives where he works. Stay with me…!
So as i was responsible for money, he then started to say his flights were wrong ect needed more money for them. Or random debts popping up that need paying. You get the jist right. Turns out drug problem, at this point i didnt know.
So we carry on plodding with life with these issues, i cba confronting him as he would cause an argument because he was guilty.
I then stupidly fall pregnant with my second child. I knew at the time it wasn’t sensible to bring another baby into our life, but selfishly my heart couldn’t terminate this baby.
Over the last year up until recently, he has got himself into probably in the double figure of thousands of debt, he has a good job right. So any spare money we have left after bills is being spent on his issues.
Promised 3 times in the last 6 months that there would be no more. No more lies, honesty and if he is struggling to talk to me.
During his week off last week, he was acting like an asshole. Horrible to be around, snappy and negative. I knew he had done something as this is how he acts. Confronted him, again my fault and i shouldnt look at his things its weird. (Checked how much he paid for his flights which was much less than what i had given him for them)
I get the message yesterday that he had f**ked up again and needs money we don’t have.
Im hugely struggling with 2 under 2. My MH is in the shitter on the max of medication.
He can be an amazing Dad and partner. But that isn’t what I am seeing lately. I don’t want my children to think his behaviour is normal, walking on egg shells to see what mood he wakes up in today!
I haven’t actually spoken to him since Wednesday minus about the kids.
Thank you for staying if you did. I know its a long one and so much more too it.
Is there any saving this? If so how as I am out of energy. I don’t want to baby sit another child.
He was the love of my life and he has been taken by this awful habit. I am at the point of calling it quits, but would love to hear any suggestions on if there was a viable way forward