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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Found empty cocaine bags in partners pocket

5 replies

Kirst999 · 25/04/2025 17:08

So over the past few years I've found the odd cocaine bag in my partners pocket... then I would find loads then it was nothing for few weeks then find it again.. each time I bought this up it was always he doesn't know what I'm talking about and he doesn't know where it has come from... each time I have chucked him out the house finances are a massive problem he works constantly and has nothing to show for it.. last night again I found another one... I've checked his pockets over the past week and nothing was in there he's now saying it must of been already in there he point blank denies taking cocaine and tells me to stop accusing him.. I'm so annoyed now I don't understand how he can lie when I have the evidence in front of me?? I'm struggling to depart from this relationship it isn't what I want for me or my children I'm mentally physically and emotionally drained I can't take nomore of this if I leave him he doesn't leave me alone he harrases me to the point I give in. I actually feel suicidal over it all now. Please any advise 😢

OP posts:
CoastalCalm · 25/04/2025 17:14

You’ve given him a consistent message that although you find them and throw him out he then comes back and life goes back to normal - why should he think anything different now. It’s put up or shut up really , follow through and separate properly rather than stay in this loop of drama and mistrust

category12 · 25/04/2025 17:16

if I leave him he doesn't leave me alone he harrases me to the point I give in.

You could get solicitors involved and get a non-molestation order or something similar to keep him away from you and from harassing you. Then you could follow through, calling the police if he breaks the conditions.

You have the right to end the relationship. He doesn't get to decide, nor it is ok to bully you into taking him back.

You could speak to local domestic abuse services for advice, as it sounds like there's more to it than him using coke and you not liking it.

candycane222 · 25/04/2025 17:21

Agreed. Keep saying no you are not getting back with him, and that you don't want to hear from him again (say this in writing eg on WhatsApp) then if he persists ask the police for help

Pashazade · 25/04/2025 18:16

As everyone else has said, get rid block on everything, report the harassment to the police and tell him you’ve done so.

Picklepower · 25/04/2025 18:49

Last time I did cocaine (10 years ago) it came in wraps not bags. Are you 100% sure it's not something else?

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