About a month ago my husband went to the pub with his mates in our local village on a Friday night; he said he’d be back after the football finished. I never stay in our bedroom if he goes out drinking as he’s very clumsy & loud when he comes in (falls on me, is completely out of it, switches on lights, snores loudly etc), but because he’d made out it was a low key night, we both knew in advance that I’d be staying in our room. We also had a babysitter arranged for the following night, and I’d booked a lovely meal in London for a show he’d been desperate to see for ages as it was his birthday on the Sunday.
It gets to 1am after his night out and he’s still not home, he hasn’t messaged to say he’s staying out later than planned (we both agree this is common courtesy within our relationship) and he stumbles in absolutely wasted, crashes into my side of the bed, passes out & snores his head off. He’s hungover to high hell the next day and I felt sad that he’d ruined the plans we’d had booked in for ages. Turns out they went back to one of the friend’s houses after the pub closed, hence the late return home.
Fast forward to Easter weekend, and we bump into the guy whose house he went back to, plus his wife. She starts telling stories about the night as it transpires she and some of her friends were at the house too & they all socialised together, but my husband never once mentioned that they were there. I just find this such a strange omission, and I feel like if I ended up back at someone’s house and there was a group of people there, I would definitely tell him because….why not?! These women are acquaintances of mine.
He said he never said anything because it was so inconsequential, but when I asked if the roles were reversed would he find it weird if I failed to mention similar, he agreed he would.
It just feels a bit shady, but I am really open and honest so maybe I’m putting unrealistic expectations on him. For what it’s worth, I think the fucking up of our plans for his bday is the worse of the two things, I just can’t shake this horrible feeling about the after party coyness. Fully prepared to be told I need to get a grip, as I feel like old insecurities are creeping in (I’m in the middle of a terrible family crisis so I’m definitely not in the best frame of mind presently).