Ex told our teenager that I’m a prostitute

[Stephanie2018]

I’m not a prostitute. He says I was one and that he’s got files for evidence. He’s crazy. He hasn’t got anything.

but why did he just tell my 13 year old that her mum is a prostitute. I’m sickened to my core.

I don’t need anything but to vent. I am in shock. He is a narcissist.

Is this out of character for him? Is he seriously unwell?

Just tell your daughter that her dad doesn't know what he's saying and he'll be unpredictable for a while until he gets better. She's 13, so let her know that it's her decision if she sees him.

Wow! And I thought my ex was mad. He's told our kids that I'd had multiple affairs throughout our marriage. I hadn't and I'm appalled that he would say that to them.

Wtaf is wrong with these men?!

Other than wow what a nut!!
I've no advice hopefully someone with experience of nutty behaviour from an ex that involves a child will be able to advise.

I’d be tempted to seek legal advice about sending him a warning letter regarding defamation and also attempted parental alienation.

Yup

My ex told our then 11 years old DS I was a drug dealer who sold drugs from his pushchair basket.

I have restraining order these days.

He's got files for evidence 😂
What has he got? Invoices that you sent to clients and your tax returns claiming condoms as a tax write off?

What an idiot.

Good grief, you shouldn't be talking about sexual behaviour to a child, that's insane!

Has he always been like that?

Just tell her that what her father said is untrue. Keep saying it with everything he comes up with.

Ask to see the evidence!

I'd be wondering if we had the same ex if mine wasn't currently in prison! He had a specific email address with 'evidence' of an ex (after me) being a prostitute and he was allegedly keeping this 'evidence' for when their daughter is 18 and then he claimed he would sent it to her (the daughter). Some men are such vile, vindictive little snakes. It's disgusting how they abuse their children in this way to some how get to their ex partners. Hope you're doing okay.

I'm really sorry. My XH also invented some fanciful stories about me to DC.

I ignored some minor little untruths when I first met XH, at my peril. I thought he was just boastful - didn't realise he would take it to such an extreme.

It makes you feel sick, doesn't it? It's beyond the pale.

I agree!!

@Stephanie2018 it's good she told you, at least then you get to tell her that you're not. Do you think she believed him or does she realise he's either ill or a complete twat!!

Thank you all for your replies. This is not out of character for him unfortunately, he used to physically beat me when we were together and is a narcissist so yes I guess you could say he’s unwell. He’s absolutely nuts and is now saying I’m nuts and filling her head with shit and like any narcissist I’m doubting myself now but I’m going to stay strong.

the legal advice thing is a fantastic idea and I am going to talk to a mediator today about this

I bet there is some truth in it! About prostitution being involved in your relationship. Except, that he was probably visiting prostitutes.

An accusation is a confession with these types.

Yep this makes sense. I felt uneasy reading your post OP. Your poor DD shouldn’t have to listen to that. What a pathetic excuse for a human being…. Hope you can cut him out of your children’s lives because no father would make up lies like this. They want to shield their children if anything.

What has your teen said, is she believing him?

It's disgusting how they abuse their children in this way to some how get to their ex partners

This is so true.
Imagine being such a vile, bitter arse that you'd deliberately do things hurt your own children.
Sickening.

I would say it is untrue and is a disgusting thing to say to a child. Say he is obviously unwell.

If it was me i would in a very calm way have said oh really what else have i done do you have evidence of this id love to read/see it and get on with my life.
Dont let a stupid man with bullshit words get you down.
I always say let people believe what they want as the truth will all ways come out at some point.

Yes to this.

@Stephanie2018is his contact with your DD court ordered or an informal arrangement?

If it's informal, simply don't let her go any more.

If it's court ordered, you have to let her go, but you need to get a solicitor and take this further. The courts take parental alienation seriously.

I'd also seek legal advice over this.
Does your 13 year old feel comfortable in his company? It must be damaging to hear such things.

My DH ex wife suggested I was a prossie, she is a narcissist too. Defamation is a narcs favourite tool.

You need legal involvement. Parental alienation is hard to prove, but if your child is willing to repeat what has been said in front of a Court appointed psychologist or Cafcass (should they be involved) your ex will be viewed very dimly and residency will reflect this.