Alcohol & relationships

[Oops3]

I am feeling very low following yet another pointless but damaging arguement with my partner last night. We often argue with each other after drinking. I am wondering if there is something wrong with me that makes me this way when drunk? It never used to affect me but as I've aged I find it is almost like I can become a different person. I am questioning if there is something deeper going on. We do have a lot of external circumstances at play right now so it is a high stress time all round. When we drink alcohol, these issues seem to come to the surface and I know it isn't healthy. Anyone experienced similar and have any constructive advice? (Please be kind) 😕

Drink less? How often and how much do you drink?

Sometimes alcohol gives you the confidence to say what you’re really thinking / feeling. Deep rooted problems that you may not want to bring to surface without the Dutch courage.
My DH and I used to argue a huge amount when drinking (before DCs) but when I fell pregnant and stopped we got on so much better, I’ve had x3 DCs now and never really drank again - our relationship has improved massively as a result. We take it in turns to drink whilst the other drives, some couples just can’t drink well together and we’re definitely one of them!

It's a sign of modern times that people need to pathologise everything. You a couple of argumentative drunks.

Stop drinking and start talking.

@Notenoughcoffe We will often have a drink after dinner each night and every weekend. I reckon maybe 14-20 units a week.

@Morevinegar Maybe you are right. I'm just feeling so rubbish about the relationship and about myself, even wondering if I have a personality disorder that is made visible by alcohol. The best solution would be to stop completely, but we enjoy it and find we are a bit bored without it. It is just when it goes too far that something will kick off, and admittedly it is usually me that starts it which is very unfair to my OH😴

There will be plenty on here that just pile on and say "stop drinking". And most of the time, they are right. But it isn't that easy, and some of us use alcohol as a crutch to get through a difficult day, to relax etc. and the real troubles come when you have a mis-match of what is acceptable drinking when you have time together or time apart. If you are not "your normal kind self" when you have had a drink, then you need to question why and how you can move forward, x

How old are you? Could you be peri? Can make you pretty erratic.

@Hellohelga Early 30s, so hopefully not that!